Thursday, December 21, 2006

Christmas Post #3 - Wish List

I have an inner turmoil that I'm unable to articulate. I'm starting this post in hopes that I can find some words for my thoughts.

Gift giving has become somewhat complex these days. Unspoken rules exist. The Wish List is a popular item this Christmas. Folks in my family send each other email with a list of items they desire to be given for Christmas. I suppose this is some kind of extension from of the ol' list you send Santa as a kid.

Dear Santa,

I hope you aren't sick. I'll be the North Pole is cold. I've been good.
Here's my list.

1. A Train
2. An official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.
3. A skateboard
Signed,

little johnny


You get the idea right?

So, this is cool for kids, but it's unnerving for me on some level as an adult. I should also say, that I'm not interested in this post becoming some kind of bash people who buy things, or who make lists. This is MY issue, and my struggle.

This year I've found that people (by people I mean my family) don't know what to buy me for Christmas. They ask me what I want and and I tell them that I don't know what I want, that I have everything I need. I tell my brother and sister that if they (and their significant other) would babysit 3-4 times over the next year that would be and incredible for Pam and I as we are bad about having date nights.

The response is, "We'd do that anyway" which is totally true of them. They would and have. But why can't that be enough? or Why don't they see that this is a significant gift for us as it feels like we are imposing on them to watch our kids?

Look I have a list of things I want, but they are all outrageously expensive things I can't afford. A new Macbook Pro. A dSLR camera. I don't need those things (though I could make a case for the notebook) I'm not going to ask someone to buy those things for me for Christmas. My family says I'm hard to buy for. I'm not sure what that means, expect that maybe they aren't sure if I have liked the gifts they buy for me in the past. But I have liked my gifts. Last year my sister and brother-in-law bought our family tickets to see "the Lion King" when it came to Tulsa. Amazing! Perfect! More than we could have ever asked for.

Here comes my conundrum.

I'm wondering if wish lists are short-cuts to us having to do the hard work of getting to know a person and what they actually would like and appreciate?

I'm wondering if we are far from christmas simply being a point in the year where other buy the stuff I want for me, rather than I buy it for myself? Is a wish list really just a shopping list for people who have too much already?

What role does advertising, and the ease of purchasing power like credit cards have on how we understand giving.

Is there anyway out?

I have this dream of everyone in my family making stuff for each other. My wife told me of a commercial she saw last week. A Christmas Tip from HGTV "Homemade gifts are great if you are 7. Buy something ...." you get the idea.

Not that everyone would actually appreciate a home made gift though?

As I'm reading back over this, this will likely make little sense... but it just some thoughts I'm having. My little family will continue to make calendars for the family with pictures of all of us on them and I'll continue and I have some other stuff I make each year. But this are the questions I'm asking this Christmas.

I'm not looking for you to solve this problem for me, but I'd love to hear if you've had similar experiences.

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3 Comments:

Blogger tony sheng said...

i can relate totally.
my family also accuses me of being hard to shop for - and im in the same boat as you - i have nothing that i really need. and it's not our faults is it... :-)
merry christmas mark

4:29 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post! I really identify with the shortcut to getting to know people. I rarely try to get people what they ask for. I would much rather surprise them with something they didn't even know they wanted.

Of course, I also would rather most people just stick to MY list.

9:33 PM EST  
Blogger Brian Vinson said...

Your post made a lot of sense. My family gave homemade gifts this year. We couldn't afford to buy things - pretty much for anyone. People appreciated them. Most of them were edible.

We make lists for our family. It helps them to remember what size we wear and what cool CDs we don't already have. Not making a list and requiring everyone to remember every detail about you seems a little over the top, doesn't it?

6:52 PM EST  

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