Monday, February 19, 2007

Angry... I'll show you angry

I wrote this in late January 2001. This was the first rant I every wrote. It's called Pastors or Prostitutes... it's a pretty good representation of what I have lovingly named the "detox" period of my life. A very important, but pretty raw time of my life. I'm going to include my second rant that I wrote in my "detox" as well.


Pastors or Prostitutes:Warning: prostitutes might feel offended by constant references to being like pastors.

So are you a pastor or a prostitute? Seems like an obvious enough question. Maybe not. Have you ever substituted prayer and spiritual depth for programs and religious activity. Simply keeping the people we're charged to lead to the Most High busy, is the job of a prostitute pastor.

Sacrificing self, calling, and private devotion for the golden calf of religiosity that amounts to idolatrous (worship of things or people other than God) and adulterous (cheating on our true love) activities. All in exchange for money. (stop giving them what they want and you'll find yourself looking for a new place of employment).

Most pastor prostitutes make the choice to sell themselves. Many were hired to get the job done, quite simply because they could. They put together resumes about how they will "make things happen." They are interviewed about how many activities they will have, what they will look like and how many people will attend. I've been there. I've sold myself. Hey.. It's exciting, there's a certain thrill. If I make enough things happen, satisfy enough folks, soon you're perceived to be a great pastor. But I wasn't a great pastor. I was a great programmer. I was a great speaker. I always had the right answer for people's problems. Soon enough I was thinking, "I'll be like God".....not that I noticed my completely flawed theology, or my utterly ridiculous stance.. But I had fallen into what many pastors fall into.. First innocently speaking and leading people toward God...then deep down thinking I might be like God.

At some point living in this "one country under God" we have become "one country under god" (ie.me). We are the consumer church. The Bride is no longer seeking the groom... it is now seeking self glorification veiled in vigorous religious activity for the self-improvement of it's multitudes.

While pastors across this "great country" are getting themselves off to programs they have created "to the glory of god," others develop a sort of "program envy" wishing that their program was as big and aspiring as First willowback, saddlecreek or over there on mars hill. Though we may not have started this "towering idol" of consumerism we all fall into it and I would venture to say... none of us truly has any idea how deep we are in.

My friends suggest we are all in deeper than we think. We perpetuate all this self-indulgence consumer crap in most of what we do. We ask "what makes our church unique to this city?" as our Ikea-congregations are trying to figure out which local "building-based group of people who call themselves Christians" best represents me as a person, we are well on our way to helping folks categorize themselves away into superficial oblivion. ...I drive a $50,000 Range Rover because I like the idea of being perceived as an outdoorsman, heaven forbid, I drive a mini-van... I own a $375 North Face Gortex though I only ski once or twice a year, it promotes the idea that I'm an outdoorsman... though I never camp... that's what I think of myself.... I go to ________ Church because it will make me a better businessman, and my kids the homecoming queen and football captain. Jesus is a great enhancement into my almost complete life.

Pastors forsake Christ and following him, for lots of people being busy in the church, and a whole lot of rules and slogans like "church should be fun" or "Jesus is cool"...try telling a Christian in Sudan either of these completely bogus lines of sh*t. I'm tired of youth pastors prostituting themselves to parents for a "fine religious education." Most of them are young enough to sense they're selling out. I'm tired of arrogant evangelical pastors seeking to have people with perfect theology, teaching propositional truths based on poor hermeneutics or sheer laziness. Demons have good theology and the "morning star" knows the scripture better than any student enrolled in the newest bible bowl competition. But many ministers still get a "theological woody" at the Platonic idea that education changes behavior. But why would anyone not do what the people of the congregation want. I mean after all we are here to serve them.. would you like fries with that sir? "am i buggin you.... don't mean to bug ya" - bono



"4 ways to say I'm tired"
(thanks to Charlie Wear for the title)
I'm tired.
I'm tired of churches who preach self-improvement over, into, under, and around the gospel. I'm tired of 5 "biblical" steps to a better marriage, all beginning with the letter "C". I'm tired of sermon titles like "8 easy steps to being a successful Christian with the first letter of each point spelling a self-help acronym) If you want an acronym for 8 steps to understanding "self-improvement" churches it would be B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.
Self-improvement teaching in churches is nothing more than exogesis in a modern pop-psychological-Rush Limbaugh world view. The "autonomous knower" already knows what he wants to tell "his" people. So he reads into the scripture "principles" that will help them.
This LAZY pastor is prostituting himself again. Self-help sermons belong in the church as much as that Golden TBN furniture belongs in a bachelor pad. Most bachelor's don't live in Versailles and they don't have the middle name "wolfgang".
I'd say that self-help sermons are about as theologically correct as the "left behind series". Sure they both have their own sections at Barnes and Noble and you hear about them in church, but taking them to their fullest extent leaves you completely and utterly frustrated. Why? Because of focus. Self-Help is primarily about self.
It seems to me that scripture talks a lot about God transforming us. That it's by God's power we change. It's by God's help we become "better". That the junk in our lives is removed only by God and that anything we do to change ourselves is simply in vain. I'll give self-help pastors this... we are all messed up. We're all drowning with land in sight. I just wish we'd focus our effort in a different direction.
How about this? Instead of spending inordinate amounts of money on Dr. Phil books or the latest Oprah mag. How about shutting-up, getting alone, being still and listening to the only one who can make a difference in our lives. If you find yourself at a church where they preach "self-help"... get out and find someone who's really interested in you. Someone who's interested in getting to know you, and accepts you where you are, and not as you should be.
Self-help pastors only care about what you can do for them. Most likely because they can't help themselves and they are stuck just like you. Anyone read Matthew 23 recently? Of course... I could be wrong.

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