We are all to blame Part 1
This post by Marko has spurred some thoughts. It somewhat reminds me of a post I wrote in January of 2002. Below is an unedited copy of what I wrote then. I'm going to read it with you, as I haven't read it in years. I'm assuming there is a bit of emotion in it, that may or may not be present with me now. But I'm guessing I'm going to draw the same conclusions. Here we go.
My name Mark Riddle and I'm a Youth Pastor. I've built my life around being a lifer. One of those guys who said he would never be a Senior Pastor and dedicate my life to youth ministry. I excelled in my vocation. Leading groups of 20, 50, 150, 300 teens each week. I'm good at what I do. I've read a lot of books. Books on youth ministry, business and church life. I've been to all the cool conferences several times. You know the ones I'm talking about. The big "national" conferences where all the youth pastors gather and the small regional conferences too! I could give half the worships at these national conferences word for word I've been so many times. I even lead workshops at some. I'm fluent in what all the progressive churches are doing around the world in youth ministry. Ok... around my world..America. Chicago, Mission Viejo, Tipp City, Edina, Louisville, Tulsa, Eden Praire, Irvine, Dallas, Houston, Colombus, San Antonio, or Colorado Springs I knew churches there and what they were doing. Eventually I even gained friendships with some of the people employed by these churches. I use their names in conversations with other Youth Pastor's to help them look up to me. I know their programs and other like em... Purpose Driven (PDYM), Son Life, YoungLife, Youth For Christ, oneighty, Kingdom builders and Ground Zero. I know words like Post Modern. I know the litany of churches and people who profess to be post-modern. I've tried the postmodern youth minstry thing.
I've built programs. Boy have I built programs. Programs for Jr high students and programs for SR high. I've put programs with Purpose's, I've filtered programs through funnels and cones. I've built programs for students at various levels of commitment.. even seekers. I've done small group programs, Hyped-up David Letterman crazy programs written up in youth Group magazine programs, multi-level missions to the world programs , student leadership programs, youth worship services, enourmous outreach programs, concerts, retreats and Bible Studies. I've also built teams to build the more programs.
After over a decade of cramming for the Youth Pastor test in the sky and building youth ministry machines that will be perpetuated long after I'm gone, I have this very sick feeling. Something like Jack Nicholson in "About Schmit" I have discovered I have misspent a large portion of my life. I'm not called to be a lifer. I'm not called to be a Youth Pastor. You may ask how I discovered this fact? You may say that I've impacted the lives of hundred, if not thousands of students over the past 12 years. I would say to you. Yes I have impacted students.. but probably less for the good than the bad. I've taught them (unintentionally mind you) that the enourmous and diverse bride of Christ is a youth group. That life should be fun and that the church should cater to them. I've taught them that they don't need adults.. and any needs they have from adults should be brought to them by adults... I've enabled a generation of young people to leave the greater community of God to find a local church to meet their needs. I've taught them to be selfish spiritually. I've taught them that church is about fun and God. I've enable lazy parents when I've taken the primary spiritual nurture of their kids in my hands. Youth group is not real life. I was paid to minister to students on behalf of a congregation. What lesson am I teaching students about ministry, community and God when I leave for another job? I can't do this anymore. No. I will not do this any more. Teens need adults in their church, not volunteers. They need churches where communities naturally flow from relationships with various generations. Don't call me a youth pastor. I hate that term. I will not be a youth pastor to you or to anyone. I feel the weight and burden of misleading a generation of students. I feel the pain of creating, building andperpetuating a system that teaches a different Gospel. Am I being to hard on myself? I think not! The community is where God meets his people. The whole community. What kind of God does a group of teens isolated in their youth group see? What does he look like? Are you called to do this?
We must reimage what it means to be involved in the lives of students. We must reimage our role!
My name is mark. I used to be a youth pastor and I'm sorry I was. Will you forgive me?
----------------------------------
My thoughts today (Feb. 2nd, 2007). Ok. I remember some of what I said then. It's personally really interesting to me to see what I was writing then and see how I've most some of these very thoughts into action today. I feel on some level like I've been moving too slow. The line "I was paid to minister to students on behalf of a congregation." really stands out to me. I still say something like this almost every day as I work with churches to help them change the role of youth pastors and to actually own the ministry they have to kids.
I'm curious what stands out to you? Does it sound angry? IS there a line that you like? Did you read this when I originally started posting it a few years ago? Does it read differently to you today? I really want to hear your input on this.
My name Mark Riddle and I'm a Youth Pastor. I've built my life around being a lifer. One of those guys who said he would never be a Senior Pastor and dedicate my life to youth ministry. I excelled in my vocation. Leading groups of 20, 50, 150, 300 teens each week. I'm good at what I do. I've read a lot of books. Books on youth ministry, business and church life. I've been to all the cool conferences several times. You know the ones I'm talking about. The big "national" conferences where all the youth pastors gather and the small regional conferences too! I could give half the worships at these national conferences word for word I've been so many times. I even lead workshops at some. I'm fluent in what all the progressive churches are doing around the world in youth ministry. Ok... around my world..America. Chicago, Mission Viejo, Tipp City, Edina, Louisville, Tulsa, Eden Praire, Irvine, Dallas, Houston, Colombus, San Antonio, or Colorado Springs I knew churches there and what they were doing. Eventually I even gained friendships with some of the people employed by these churches. I use their names in conversations with other Youth Pastor's to help them look up to me. I know their programs and other like em... Purpose Driven (PDYM), Son Life, YoungLife, Youth For Christ, oneighty, Kingdom builders and Ground Zero. I know words like Post Modern. I know the litany of churches and people who profess to be post-modern. I've tried the postmodern youth minstry thing.
I've built programs. Boy have I built programs. Programs for Jr high students and programs for SR high. I've put programs with Purpose's, I've filtered programs through funnels and cones. I've built programs for students at various levels of commitment.. even seekers. I've done small group programs, Hyped-up David Letterman crazy programs written up in youth Group magazine programs, multi-level missions to the world programs , student leadership programs, youth worship services, enourmous outreach programs, concerts, retreats and Bible Studies. I've also built teams to build the more programs.
After over a decade of cramming for the Youth Pastor test in the sky and building youth ministry machines that will be perpetuated long after I'm gone, I have this very sick feeling. Something like Jack Nicholson in "About Schmit" I have discovered I have misspent a large portion of my life. I'm not called to be a lifer. I'm not called to be a Youth Pastor. You may ask how I discovered this fact? You may say that I've impacted the lives of hundred, if not thousands of students over the past 12 years. I would say to you. Yes I have impacted students.. but probably less for the good than the bad. I've taught them (unintentionally mind you) that the enourmous and diverse bride of Christ is a youth group. That life should be fun and that the church should cater to them. I've taught them that they don't need adults.. and any needs they have from adults should be brought to them by adults... I've enabled a generation of young people to leave the greater community of God to find a local church to meet their needs. I've taught them to be selfish spiritually. I've taught them that church is about fun and God. I've enable lazy parents when I've taken the primary spiritual nurture of their kids in my hands. Youth group is not real life. I was paid to minister to students on behalf of a congregation. What lesson am I teaching students about ministry, community and God when I leave for another job? I can't do this anymore. No. I will not do this any more. Teens need adults in their church, not volunteers. They need churches where communities naturally flow from relationships with various generations. Don't call me a youth pastor. I hate that term. I will not be a youth pastor to you or to anyone. I feel the weight and burden of misleading a generation of students. I feel the pain of creating, building andperpetuating a system that teaches a different Gospel. Am I being to hard on myself? I think not! The community is where God meets his people. The whole community. What kind of God does a group of teens isolated in their youth group see? What does he look like? Are you called to do this?
We must reimage what it means to be involved in the lives of students. We must reimage our role!
My name is mark. I used to be a youth pastor and I'm sorry I was. Will you forgive me?
----------------------------------
My thoughts today (Feb. 2nd, 2007). Ok. I remember some of what I said then. It's personally really interesting to me to see what I was writing then and see how I've most some of these very thoughts into action today. I feel on some level like I've been moving too slow. The line "I was paid to minister to students on behalf of a congregation." really stands out to me. I still say something like this almost every day as I work with churches to help them change the role of youth pastors and to actually own the ministry they have to kids.
I'm curious what stands out to you? Does it sound angry? IS there a line that you like? Did you read this when I originally started posting it a few years ago? Does it read differently to you today? I really want to hear your input on this.
Labels: Systems Thinking, youth ministry
posted by mark at
9:02 AM
4 Comments:
I really like the line about enabling lazy parents. I am at a job right now where the past youth pastors have done that very thing. So I am trying to enable them and get them to lead and it is very hard.
I think this sounds much more convicted than angry. And as much as what you say makes sense and has merit, there are two sides to the coin. Yeah, it's true that you probably could have enabled lazy parenting, but what about those of us who weren't going to get it from anyone else and who still needed direction? I know we're probably the minority, but we exist.
Programs like BAM, were pretty consumer driven, yes. I really had problems with bigger camps like Disciple and Dayspring, as much as I love them. I appreciate all the work put into them, but I wish we had been encouraged (or even required) to have a service portion. Not service as in "go and build houses" or "go and clean up the camp grounds" but a portion as in creating a workshop or making dinner. Facilitating some sort of dialogue. I remember that friends were told they couldn't work tech for Dayspring because they should be "enjoying camp." Why are the two mutually exlusive? I think that if we had given back and not had it all given to us (or expected of us to take without really showing any gratitude), we could have learned so much more. For scripture, what if we had only been given 3 texts...and absolutely no guidance? One of my favorite things about Wednesday nights at Asbury was that we really did our own thing. You'd send us off outside to read as much of Psalm 119 as we could (or whatever portion we wished) and then come back and digest it as a group. Thank God. It taught us how to do this on our own. It was a departure from the "Church as a business" you wrote about. It's book learning vs. knowledge, training vs. wisdom, experience vs. using your brain. I don't mean to be harsh, but how much of what I do and the way I perceive God and the church are because I've always done it that way? More than I'd like to admit...and when you work in a church things like experience and books and trainings from "the gurus" become other institutions that do, eventually, become more harmful than helpful. I'm not saying they should stop, but they should definitely stop being everything. Thoughts?
holy crap Molly! what a great post. It was great to see you again a few weeks ago after 7 years or so and I'm humbled by your comments.
I'm also very proud of you and who you are becoming. You ask great questions, and are amazingly insightful.
You have great ideas about what youth ministry or ministry can be like and I hope there's a community up there at Smith that will get to hear them soon, until then voice them hear as much as you want to. Yoiur voice helps bring clarity to God's voice in my life.
mark
thanks for sharing byron. it's not an easy road. tell me more about your situation as a youth pastor following other youth pastors like you describe.
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