Why would I want to come to your church?

After you've been in the church for a while it becomes something of a habit. It's just something you do. It's normal. After a while, most of the people you know probably go to church too. It's just something they do.

After a while you know what to expect. Who will say hi and who won't. You know more than faces, you know names and stories that accompany each name. You belong. It's normal. It's natural. It's just something you do and you know how you fit. You know that 6 months ago they changed the 4th grade classroom from the room that actually says, "4th Grade" on it, to an unmarked steel fire door down the hall and around the corner. You know that you need to bring your own Bible, or which book of prayer you need to use or when to refer to the church bulletin. All of this is normal. Even the things that confuse you have become normal. You know how to drink from the cup or to signal dipping the bread. You know that the bread will taste more like styrofoam or a doughy tic-tac. It's normal. It's just what you do.

After a while you are a family. After a while you find deep meaning in worshiping God together. or maybe you don't find meaning in the worship, but you attend out of duty. It's just normal. It's what you should do, so you do it. Some kind of compliance with your parents who may or may not be alive any longer. You do what you do because it's normal. You always have.


But when I show up, none of this is normal. I'm not even sure why I'm here and since this is normal for you, you assume I'm there for the same reasons you are.

I'm not.

I don't know how to dismiss my kids to "children's church" and I'm not really sure what "childrens' church" is. I don't trust you with my kids, so I walk my kid to the 4th Grade class. It's empty. We keep walking and discover another room with a lot of kids in it. This is normal for you. But it's not to me and I'm trusting you less and less each moment.

My kid REALLY doesn't want to walk into a room full of chaos and since I can't find the teacher I make the decision to take him back to the service with me. My mind is racing about my experience and I'm confused by other things happening in the service. All I can think is, this can't be normal. Assuming I don't bail on you after my first week and write off the church thing all-together. (Which is a big assumption that you should not make because in today's world you get one chance to connect with a visiting family. One. ) But let's assume I'm stubborn and I'm willing to overlook the chaos of the children's ministry, the stubbornness of my kids who throw no less than 3 fits during the morning because they don't want to go and don't understand why we are going, to which I have no real response.

Let's say I overcome all that.
Why would I want to come to your church?
Duty won't do it. I'm not going to do something simply because someone tells me I should. That kind of guilt and manipulation won't work for me.

Since I don't know you, feeling like I belong isn't the answer.

I know it's normal for you, but why would anyone come to your church? Really?

If you can't answer that question I'm either going to quit looking for a church, or I'm going somewhere else.

I know this is normal for you. But this isn't normal to me.