When (no)one is looking

There's the old adage "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking."

You've heard it right? The idea suggests that it's easy to be a person of character in front of others. Or at least pretend to be I suppose. We all have parts of us we hide, the irresponsible, rough edges, crude, profane parts of our lives. the adage isn't transformative, but more guilt oriented it seems. Some way of controlling those out of our control. A way of saying, behave, do good, even when i'm not around.

That living in a culture of good people, character is somehow a peer pressure thing. I suppose that's right to an extent. I suppose the opposite can be true as well.

What if real character is being fully ourselves when others are looking. What if real character is letting the rough edges come to the surface? Instead of posturing some sort of togetherness, what if we simply let the real us come through?

Maybe character isn't simply what we do when no one is looking, but when others are. It seems that community is where transformation happens and where we must be most ourselves, not by ourselves. Alone change becomes some kind of self improvement. Alone our behaviour may need to instruct us on how to be with others.

I'm not suggesting confess your ever sin to the woman at the grocery, but I'm suggesting that being yourself with others is neccesary for transformation.

this isn't a solo venture. so I say, be yourself when others are looking. stop pretending. continue to seek good and right things, but do it as yourself with others.