Don't call me youth pastor (2004)
Below is something I wrote in early 2004. Though this comes off as toxic, it wasn't written to be so. It was an honest prayer and confession. One that I still think I can agree with. Maybe not literally, but the sentiment is real and helpful.
As I re-read this I'm taken by my burden for misleading teens, and families. I still feel this to an extent.
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My name Mark Riddle and I'm a Youth Pastor. I've built my life around being a lifer. One of those guys who said he would never be a Senior Pastor and dedicate my life to youth ministry. I excelled in my vocation. Leading groups of 20, 50, 150, 300 teens each week. I'm good at what I do. I've read a lot of books. Books on youth ministry, business and church life. I've been to all the cool conferences several times. You know the ones I'm talking about. The big "national" conferences where all the youth pastors gather and the small regional conferences too! I could give half the worships at these national conferences word for word I've been so many times. I even lead workshops at some. I'm fluent in what all the progressive churches are doing around the world in youth ministry. Ok... around my world..America. Chicago, Mission Viejo, Tipp City, Edina, Louisville, Tulsa, Eden Praire, Irvine, Dallas, Houston, Colombus, San Antonio, or Colorado Springs I knew churches there and what they were doing. Eventually I even gained friendships with some of the people employed by these churches. I use their names in conversations with other Youth Pastor's to help them look up to me. I know their programs and other like em... Purpose Driven (PDYM), Son Life, YoungLife, Youth For Christ, oneighty, Kingdom builders and Ground Zero. I know words like Post Modern. I know the litany of churches and people who profess to be post-modern. I've tried the postmodern youth minstry thing.
I've built programs. Boy have I built programs. Programs for Jr high students and programs for SR high. I've put programs with Purpose's, I've filtered programs through funnels and cones. I've built programs for students at various levels of commitment.. even seekers. I've done small group programs, Hyped-up David Letterman crazy programs written up in youth Group magazine programs, multi-level missions to the world programs , student leadership programs, youth worship services, enourmous outreach programs, concerts, retreats and Bible Studies. I've also built teams to build the more programs.
After over a decade of cramming for the Youth Pastor test in the sky and building youth ministry machines that will be perpetuated long after I'm gone, I have this very sick feeling. Something like Jack Nicholson in "About Schmit" I have discovered I have misspent a large portion of my life. I'm not called to be a lifer. I'm not called to be a Youth Pastor. You may ask how I discovered this fact? You may say that I've impacted the lives of hundred, if not thousands of students over the past 12 years. I would say to you. Yes I have impacted students.. but probably less for the good than the bad. I've taught them (unintentionally mind you) that the enourmous and diverse bride of Christ is a youth group. That life should be fun and that the church should cater to them. I've taught them that they don't need adults.. and any needs they have from adults should be brought to them by adults... I've enabled a generation of young people to leave the greater community of God to find a local church to meet their needs. I've taught them to be selfish spiritually. I've taught them that church is about fun and God. I've enable lazy parents when I've taken the primary spiritual nurture of their kids in my hands. Youth group is not real life. I was paid to minister to students on behalf of a congregation. What lesson am I teaching students about ministry, community and God when I leave for another job? I can't do this anymore. No. I will not do this any more. Teens need adults in their church, not volunteers. They need churches where communities naturally flow from relationships with various generations. Don't call me a youth pastor. I hate that term. I will not be a youth pastor to you or to anyone. I feel the weight and burden of misleading a generation of students. I feel the pain of creating, building and perpetuating a system that teaches a different Gospel. Am I being to hard on myself? I think not! The community is where God meets his people. The whole community. What kind of God does a group of teens isolated in their youth group see? What does he look like? Are you called to do this?
We must reimage what it means to be involved in the lives of students. We must reimage our role!
My name is mark. I used to be a youth pastor and I'm sorry I was. Will you forgive me?
As I re-read this I'm taken by my burden for misleading teens, and families. I still feel this to an extent.
-----------------------------------------------------
My name Mark Riddle and I'm a Youth Pastor. I've built my life around being a lifer. One of those guys who said he would never be a Senior Pastor and dedicate my life to youth ministry. I excelled in my vocation. Leading groups of 20, 50, 150, 300 teens each week. I'm good at what I do. I've read a lot of books. Books on youth ministry, business and church life. I've been to all the cool conferences several times. You know the ones I'm talking about. The big "national" conferences where all the youth pastors gather and the small regional conferences too! I could give half the worships at these national conferences word for word I've been so many times. I even lead workshops at some. I'm fluent in what all the progressive churches are doing around the world in youth ministry. Ok... around my world..America. Chicago, Mission Viejo, Tipp City, Edina, Louisville, Tulsa, Eden Praire, Irvine, Dallas, Houston, Colombus, San Antonio, or Colorado Springs I knew churches there and what they were doing. Eventually I even gained friendships with some of the people employed by these churches. I use their names in conversations with other Youth Pastor's to help them look up to me. I know their programs and other like em... Purpose Driven (PDYM), Son Life, YoungLife, Youth For Christ, oneighty, Kingdom builders and Ground Zero. I know words like Post Modern. I know the litany of churches and people who profess to be post-modern. I've tried the postmodern youth minstry thing.
I've built programs. Boy have I built programs. Programs for Jr high students and programs for SR high. I've put programs with Purpose's, I've filtered programs through funnels and cones. I've built programs for students at various levels of commitment.. even seekers. I've done small group programs, Hyped-up David Letterman crazy programs written up in youth Group magazine programs, multi-level missions to the world programs , student leadership programs, youth worship services, enourmous outreach programs, concerts, retreats and Bible Studies. I've also built teams to build the more programs.
After over a decade of cramming for the Youth Pastor test in the sky and building youth ministry machines that will be perpetuated long after I'm gone, I have this very sick feeling. Something like Jack Nicholson in "About Schmit" I have discovered I have misspent a large portion of my life. I'm not called to be a lifer. I'm not called to be a Youth Pastor. You may ask how I discovered this fact? You may say that I've impacted the lives of hundred, if not thousands of students over the past 12 years. I would say to you. Yes I have impacted students.. but probably less for the good than the bad. I've taught them (unintentionally mind you) that the enourmous and diverse bride of Christ is a youth group. That life should be fun and that the church should cater to them. I've taught them that they don't need adults.. and any needs they have from adults should be brought to them by adults... I've enabled a generation of young people to leave the greater community of God to find a local church to meet their needs. I've taught them to be selfish spiritually. I've taught them that church is about fun and God. I've enable lazy parents when I've taken the primary spiritual nurture of their kids in my hands. Youth group is not real life. I was paid to minister to students on behalf of a congregation. What lesson am I teaching students about ministry, community and God when I leave for another job? I can't do this anymore. No. I will not do this any more. Teens need adults in their church, not volunteers. They need churches where communities naturally flow from relationships with various generations. Don't call me a youth pastor. I hate that term. I will not be a youth pastor to you or to anyone. I feel the weight and burden of misleading a generation of students. I feel the pain of creating, building and perpetuating a system that teaches a different Gospel. Am I being to hard on myself? I think not! The community is where God meets his people. The whole community. What kind of God does a group of teens isolated in their youth group see? What does he look like? Are you called to do this?
We must reimage what it means to be involved in the lives of students. We must reimage our role!
My name is mark. I used to be a youth pastor and I'm sorry I was. Will you forgive me?
posted by mark at
6:40 AM
2 Comments:
"Hi, My name is Ryan, and I used to be a youth pastor." Thank you for reminding me that I'm crazy. I appreciate you.
Wow. I see a lot of things I've thought before about church youth groups written in this post. Thanks for putting this out there.
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