Carlton Pearson at the Emergent Tulsa cohort

I'm still in Michigan and enjoying the cool weather and frequent lake visits. The beaches up here are soooo great. (By the way... the person house sitting has a concealed weapon permit)

We come home tomorrow just in time for the Emergent Village Cohort in Tulsa.
If you are in the area on Thursday feel free to stop by.

Carlton Pearson will be telling us his story and it will be followed by a discussion.

If you want a bit of background on Carlton you can go here for his story on NPR, here for his story on Dateline or here for his story on CNN.

Agora church
Thursday:
Show up at !0:00am we'll start at 10:30am.
We'll end at noon and then break for lunch.
We'll be going to the amazing Joe Momma's Pizza.

Senior Pastors and Youth Ministry

Don Johnson (of No Cal) talks about hosting a youth missions team at his church. I love this kind of thinking from Senior Pastors.

Link

Bill Mallonee

Bill Mallonee is in OKC on Monday night. I arrive back from Memphis around 5. The show starts at 8pm. It takes 2 hours to drive...
hmmmm....

Traveling

I'm looking at my schedule between now and august 9th I'm in Tulsa 3 days. A majority of that will be with my wonderful friends in Michigan!

Tammy Faye on Larry King

Last night I got home late and watch some tv with Pam.

Flipping through the channels we landed on Larry King talking to Tammy Faye.
She is in bad shape as this video shows. She didn't say it, but she was coming on to say goodbye. good bye to Larry and goodbye to the people who love her, but who have never met her.

It was amazing to watch.

It seems with most celebrities who age and who get sick, they hide away as their health deteriorates.

Tammy showed bravery to come on Larry King. Especially from a woman who has spent a lot of time working on her appearance.

Tammy seems to have matured in her faith in inspiring ways.

It was odd however to have her son Jay on immediately following Tammy's interview to get a response.

That was hard to watch.

NBA ref under investigation

Ok, so the NBA has taken a lot of heat over the past 3 years about it's refereeing. Lots of talk about conspiracy and refs taking money.

Turns out it might be true. At least a little.

Link

Praying for you

How can I pray for you? Is there anything going on in your life that you'd like prayer about? I'd love to pray for you over the next few days.

If you'd prefer to email me go ahead mark@theriddlegroup.com or simply leave a comment.

Thanks for the opportunity.

Advice to Church Consultants

I'm getting a lot of folks calling me these days talking about wanting to be youth ministry consultants. I suppose there has always been a steady stream of folks who have emailed or called me over the past two years asking me if I was hiring youth ministry consultants. Often after talking to these folks they start their own consulting business, which I'm all for by the way. (If they are helpful to the local church) I'm going to share a few thoughts over the next few months that I've learned about consulting (esp. youth ministry consulting) over the past two years while I'm doing this. I'm not sure how qualified I am to give this advice, but I hope it will be helpful.

Principle One:

The more a church needs your services, the less likely they will actually benefit from them.

It's seems a bit backwards, but the churches I work with have great, gifted, insightful leadership. All of them are smarter than I am. All of them have more experience than I do. All of them, however are learners and it's because they are so good at what they do that makes them open to bringing a consultant in to work alongside their leadership. Certainly there are things you as the consultant know and see that will be really helpful to church leaders, but often this is only part of the reason you are brought in.


The church leaders who most need the services the most are less likely to invite you behind the curtain to see the inner workings of their church. Further, they are much less likely to take your advice, even though the church's youth ministry is in "critical condition".

I suppose the reason for this is habit.

We do what we've always done.

My friend Sarah consistently dates guys that mistreat her which often leads to abuse. She knows she needs to pick a new kind of guy, but struggles to do so because everything in her naturally picks the wrong guy. It's simply easier to pick the wrong guy.

First Church has had 15 youth pastors in 15 years. They are in a bad rhythm. They need to take a break and work thru some things to reach youth in healthy ways. When given the option to be coached through a year long process with a youth ministry consultant or hire a mom with no youth ministry experience, but who is available right now, they choose a the mom. It's not a financial decision, both cost the same. It's not whether they would benefit, clearly this church has something to gain by having some outside eyes walk with them for a year to break some bad habits they have in their youth ministry. They need it more than most of the churches I work with. It's simply easier for this chruch to keep hiring youth pastors and wounding their students.

Rick's Observations on Changes in Middle Schoolers

Rick's has listed a few things that have changed in the 8 years since he's been on a youth ministry trip.

His Observations:
1. Christian T-shirts, while still "Christian t-shirts" are less offensive and some are borderline cool.
2. Text messaging
3. Parents wanting kids in constant contact
4. Energy Drinks
5. Trading myspace accounts instead of addresses and phone numbers
6. Energy Drink slushies
7. Christian "cock rock"
8. iPods
9. Worship music as radio friendly genre
10. Digital Cameras
11. Sophistication of middle school students

This made me laugh

If you live in Dorset, this is how you upset the local "pagans".

Link

(thanks to Dave Barry)

Possible Consequence of Children's Sermons

Don Johnson (not from Miami Vice) a pastor in No Cal has a great post on the Possible Consequences of Children's Sermons

Highlights for me:

"The children's sermons are very short and focus on one word or one truth and not a long, rambling discussion on things. It's not a time to play cute for the parents and mug for the congregation. It's for the kids. They matter. They count.
One of the ways I do a children's sermon is to set up a scenario where the kids need to help me out: count something, find something, discover something, fix something. Often I end up playing the fool. Well, last week I was illustrating Paul's prayer in Colossians 1:1-12 where he prays for minds, bodies and hearts by stacking interlocking rings on a pole. It's a common nursery toy. I mis-stacked them, backwards, much to the children's dismay. I just could not get them stacked right until one exasperated boy grabbed the stack from me with a snort and said: "Let me do it for you!" and stacked them properly, illustrating the truth that things need to go together in the right way.
But later Sunday afternoon I imagined a dinner-time conversation with the boy and his parents covering the topic of how really dumb pastors had to be. I mean, what is it that they do if they can't even stack rings in the right order?"

50 most Influential Churches

These are not the 50 most influential churches in America. Link

I'm trying to to be too critical, but this is rubs me the wrong way. I'm not sure why, but I'm hoping that posting this will bring clarity to myself.

- this bugs me because it makes me want to ask "Influential to who?" I suppose these are the most influential churches to people who care about big churches with leader they would depict as cool or influential. But these are not 50 most influential churches in America. In fact, it a close tie between all the churches in North america for number 1.

Every church that makes an impact in the lives of someone or some community is most influential and there are a lot of them.

- This bugs because I'm not sure influence was a way Jesus measured success. Influence as it's used today is not a biblical value. Today's influence is to directly related to power and a odd form of leadership we value today.

- This kind of things only promotes church leaders to go to the "experts" of growing a church to help them minister in their context. Over all his model has not worked for the past 15 years with Willow and Saddleback replicating themselves around the world. It's not going to work with Mars hill, LifeChurch.tv, or Granger.

This kind of thing only further alienates the pastors who seek "the experts help" from the very people they are trying to reach. Certainly there are aspects of their ministry that might see increased attendance but I'm wondering how many people these churches are really reaching that we we would hold them up above all the others.

So church resource people, if you must right about influential churches, which I'd personally prefer you not, then I'd suggest finding churches who are making a difference that none of us have heard of, churches none of us will ever meet, church leaders who are not dynamic, cool, eloquent, popular or "leaders". I have a feeling that's what Jesus would do. I know that doesn't sell magazines, or attract blog hits, but that's not what the kingdom is about anyway I suppose.

Harry Potter update

Ok. I just finished the 6th book of Harry Potter.
Wow. that last one hundred pages fly by. I ended up staying up until 1:30am last night just so I could finish last night. What an amazing story.

I am now ready for book 7... which conveniently comes out 4 days from now.

Back from KC

Back from KC...

more to come soon.

Kansas City is great!

Pam and I are enjoying our time here in KC.
Yesterday we walked around the plaza and ate at Mcormick and Smick's.
I had the cashew crusted tilipia and Pam really enjoyed the Romano crusted Mahi.
hmmmm.

today we will eat at the California Pizza Kitchen. I was introduced to CPK by my friends Chris and Mike on a visit to Chicago a few years ago. Then off to the Nelson-Atkins Museum.

Congrats to Dan Mayes

Dan Mayes has a new son!
Congrats Dan and family!

A New Take on Contact Ministry

For 20 years youth ministry has focused on going to where kids are and making "contact" with them in their world. So Youth pastors and youth workers have gone to footballs games, concerts, skate parks, malls and plays to hang with kids in their world. This should not change. But I'd like to add something I think. My experience is that youth pastors, especially youth pastors with out children of their own, spend most of their time in the world of kids to the neglect of their own relationships and community. Also, when a youth pastor does have kids they find it unhealthy to always be in the world of teens (or they should) and they find themselves more at home with their families. (which is good.)

I've been proposing for 4 or five years that a far more powerful tool available to the youth pastor is to develop healthy friendships and community with peers (read: other adults) and then invite students into their world. This will never replace contact ministry as we have known it, but brings new ministry to power to what most youth pastors talk about. How better for a teen to learn about Biblical community than to experience it first hand, through an adult relationship.

Harry Potter update

Ok. so last night I finished Order of the Phoenix. It was a good read. A better story, but it was 200 pages too long. it would have been better in the 650 range and it wouldn't have lost anything.

I'm 75 pages into the 6th book and I'm going to wait to finish it during vacation.

Acid Pool

That's what the pool man said.

After all the rain we've received the past 6 weeks, esp the last 2 weeks, the pool has turned to acid.

After he said that he said. "Don't swim in it."

uh. ok.

We started treating it yesterday.
Today... it's raining again.

Anyone considering a cheaper form of microderm-abraision feel free to contact me.
I'll let you swim for free.

Workshop

If I had an extra $1750 I'd so go to this.

Getting Ready for Kansas City

I am so ready to go to KC with Pam this week.

I'm excited. We're staying staying over near the Country club plaza for free thanks to a few of my Marriott Reward points.

We're planning on visiting the Nelson Atkins Museum with the Manet to Matisse Exibit on display there. I'm really looking forward to this. Pam and I have never been to a museum together alone. I'm looking forward to showing her around and discussing some of the amazing works there.

Pam and I are planning on eating dinner one night with Mike and Vicki King while we are in town.

Other than that it will be eating at places we can't here in Tulsa and sleeping in every morning!

We'll be celebrating 14 years of marriage while we are there.

Harry Potter

I'm currently on book 5. I read book 1 in june and have been reading through them since then. I waited for a few reasons. I wanted to wait until Zach could read some of them with me, though he's done for a bit after finishing book 3. Book 4 - Goblet of Fire is a bit over the top for a nine year old, or at least my nine year old. so i'm hoping that I'll have the next 700 pages of book 5 done soon so I can read book 6 by the time the final book seven comes out later this month.

I'm enjoying the story.
It's interesting to me how little magic there was in the first three books. But when wormtail cuts his hand off to put into a potion for the bad guy in the end, it's more than I'm interested in Zach reading.

For those who don't know, there's a bad guy in the book named Voltemort, who is also known as Tom Riddle.

That's why all those middle school boys were always a bit scared of me when we first met a few years ago and they would ask,"Is your name really Riddle? Do you like Harry Potter?"

I figured it out years ago... but it's fun to read now and remember those guys faces.

Organic Community by Joe Myers

I should start by saying I consider Joe to be a friend. Our relationship has mainly consisted of being at the same place at the same time and enjoying the opportunity to tell stories about our lives. I met Joe face to face back in 2000 or was it 2001? We had exchanged emails and both of us contributed to the beginning of theooze.com way back when. Joe is a story teller. Joe is a great story teller.

I find myself telling one particular Joe story on measurement a couple times a month. Joe loves conundrums. His ability to see the world from a different perspective allows him to give insight into the everyday.

I have several stories that are favorite stories he tells.
- the time (years ago) he led a seminar at the Willowcreek conference and was frantically shouted down by the WC volunteer at the conclusion because in her opinion WC was against everything he said.

(interesting that both the forwards in his new book are staff at Willow)

- His asking the question. "Did Jesus tell his disciples to steal the donkey?"


Joe tells amazing stories that make things that happen in your church every week, make sense.

Joe previous book The Search to Belong should be required reading for every pastor, youth pastor and church leader in north america.

Joe's new book takes up where the other left off.

Read it. Soak in it. He is giving us all direction toward healthy ministry.

Anyone in Memphis? Or Lived there Recently?

If there is anyone who reads this blog who lives in Memphis, or has lived there in the last 5 or so years, I'd love to talk to you. I can't tell you why on this blog, but I'd love ask you a few questions. It's church and culture related. Drop me your email in a comment or email me.

mark@theRiddleGroup.com

thanks for reading!

Thinking about Technology

All the Derrida scholars in the room say "Yeah!!"

Ok so I've been thinking a bit about this Shane Hipps quote a bit more.

"I believe certain technologies preclude incarnational ministry. And the reason I believe that is because God became embodied in Jesus. And embodiment means human physical touch; presence. And there are certain technologies that disembody us, like video."

-Shane Hipps


the words that stand out to me is "disembody". a verb meaning to separate or free somethings from it's concrete form.

Can you tell me video doesn't do this?

Video is literally taking the image of a person, without the substance of the person and representing that person with the person needing to be present.

It's not inherently wrong, but it does change things. It does carry significant meaning which is added to the message of the disembodies person's words.

Cell phones do this too right?

I am can talk to someone without seeing them. Their voice has been somehow seperated from them in time and space.

This does have theological implications as Hipps remarks.

The gospel has always been about the incarnation... or God becoming flesh, God embodied in human form.

Other Technologies are impacted with this too.

Written word.

The Bible for instance.
Is the Bible the message of God disembodied?

My first response is yes.

Of course the power and presence of the Holy Spirit is not mentioned in Hipps comment and is an important theological aspect that needs to be addressed in this conversation.

hmmm

Songs I wish the Shuffle had picked

aka - songs I think are cool that you might not have heard before:

War Pigs (iTunes Original Version) - The Flaming Lips

Take Five - Dave Brubek - Dave Brubek's Greatest hits

Fire Sign - David Berkeley - After the Wrecking Ship

World Spins Madly on - The Weepies - Say I Am You

My Friend Ringo - Youth Fresh Fellows

Tomorrow I review Joe Myers new Book

I"m almost done with it...

iTunes Shuffle

Dan taqged me with the iTunes Shuffle.
Here's how it works.
I'm told to go to iTunes and hit shuffle.
The first 10 on the list.. i put here on the blog.
I love music. I love to hear what others are listening to.

Here are my 10.

It Ain't Me Babe - Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon- Walk the Line Soundtrack


Man did I like that movie. I saw it in Nashville with a bunch of youth
workers from the NYWC.

Place for My Head - Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory

Wow. I haven't listened to this in a long long time. I'm listening to this right now and remember how much I like Linkin Park



Power To the People - John Lennon - The John Lennon Collection

Not my favorite Lennon song by a long ways. I do have 93 John Lennon songs in my iTunes though.

Stalin Malone - Elvis Costello - Spike

I don't think I've ever heard this song honestly. Hmmm. Oh. It's an instrumental.

Unaccompanies Cello Suite No. 6 in D Major, BWV 1012: I. Prelude - Yo-Yo Ma - The Bach Cello Suites

Simply incredible. No words for how good this album is.


The Best of Times - Styx - Greatest Hits

My first two albums ever were Disco Duck and Styx (mr. roboto). I have not diea what he's talking about but it's fun to listen to.

Intoxicating - David Crowder Band - Illuminate

What can I say about Crowder other than he's one of my favorite worship lyricists. (is that how you spell it?)

Wicked Web - Waterdeep - Everyone's Beautiful

I haven't heard any thing new about Waterdeep in a few years. I love this band.

Ghost - Indigo Girls - Rites of Passage

No writes and sings like these two do.

Synchronicity II - The Police - Synchronicity

awww. the police. Sting before he was playing odd midevil instruments. This song has the lyric "a humilitiating kick in the crotch" and no ones used it sense with success.

Reminds me of My Grandfather

My grandfather Winston is an ex-WWII-Marine. He's in his 80's now. Years ago Winston was leaving a Christmas party with my grandmother and a man pulled out a gun and held them up.

The thug demanded a ring off his finger and then his watch. All the while waving a gun in his face. Then the thug demanded his wallet. Winston doesn't carry a wallet, he carries a money clip, so he responded, "I don't have wallet."
The robber didn't care much for this, and demanded it again.
Winston said, "I think you have enough."
"Give me your money!" the thug said.

Winston threw his money clip on the ground.

the robber didn't care much for this.

Winston had had enough.

He punched the man in the face.

Then the robber pistol whipped Winston across the face.

A couple days later, Christmas morning, Winston shows up with a black eye. We asked him why he would punch a robber who had a gun. His response. It was only a .22.

Marines. Here's the news video that reminded me of Winston.

Link

The Growing Edge of Youth Pastors

Picture the "AVERAGE YOUTH PASTOR" in your head. Get the picture in your head....



got it????


What are they wearing?
What are they doing when you see them in your mind?
How old are they?

In your mind... are they male? young college-student? Thin? dressed in shabby shorts and ballcap askew?

I have no statistical information to re-enforce this thought. It is based purely on my experience and my imagination based on my experience. And what my friends who work with youth pastors around the country tell me. I'd be very interested to see any stats you might know of regarding this issue.

It seems the average age of youth pastors is rising.
My guess is, the average age of youth pastors is around 35. I could be wrong. It could be higher. Average may be the wrong word, as there are plenty of 20-24 year old folks who work in youth for a season of their life, then move on to another area of vocation, generally outside the church.

Higher education has partly helped in this increase by professionalizing Youth Ministry by handing out degrees in youth ministry.

There are more 40 year olds in professional youth ministry than ever before.

However, there is still a stereotype the folks in our congregations have about Youth Pastor's being young.

I'm wondering why this is. I'm wondering what would change, if anything, if we changed the mindset that views the average youth pastor as a male, in his early 20's.
What do you think?

Our assumptions of "average" lead us to act and behave in certain ways that are not healthy for ministry.

I believe the average youth pastor has changed and we have not changed our assumptions... that's part of what's holding us back from being the kind of people God is calling us to be.

Coaching Day

Today I'm spending the day in one-to-one coaching sessions with the youth workers of Westmoore Community Church. I started this morning at 9:30am and end a bit after 10:00pm. I do this once a month for WCC.
They don't have any youth staff but are making a big difference in the lives of kids in South Oklahoma City. The folks I'm meeting with have said "Yes" to God, though most of them have never lead a team, or been on a team like this before, and even less have any experience working with teens God is honoring their faithfulness. I don't really ask how many kids they have coming to their large program, but it's somewhere in the range of 600. Their program meets 5 weeks on, then 3-4 weeks off. Which defies all conventional thinking and assumptions church leaders have about Momentum.

They are ramping up their Middle school small groups to a new level this fall and starting a student leadership program as well.

Such a fun church to work with. One of my favorite things about this church is that most somewhere around 85% of the people involved in the church didn't attend church anywhere or know Christ before WCC.

Lives are being changed.

These youth workers are dealing with all the issues that come with a group of kids this size. Cutting, drug use, abusive homes, and absent parents all en masse... without a professional youth pastor or any youth staff.

When I sit with these folks, they seem to know the gravity of their responsibility, and the task at hand.

One day they'll hire a youth pastor, but they aren't really looking right now. There is no need to. The church is owing/learning to own the spiritual formation of their kids.

Emergent Village Tulsa Cohort on Facebook

Hi Gang, if you are in the Tulsa area and are interested in conversation about being a missional people in Tulsa, join the facebook group.

Here's the Link.

Shane Hipps Quote

"I believe certain technologies preclude incarnational ministry. And the reason I believe that is because God became embodied in Jesus. And embodiment means human physical touch; presence. And there are certain technologies that disembody us, like video."

Shane Hipps

(Thanks to Out of Ur)

Summer Traffic

Marko was wondering about his traffic being down on his blog. I'd noticed my traffic has been low this month too, so I thought I'd send him of my traffic by linking like crazy to his site. to make him feel better.

Of course as you can see, he has more traffic that I do. I'm sure there's a reason for that... but it escapes me at the moment. :-)

A message for the United Methodist Church Planting Movement

Here's a article that might help illustrate some things.

First I'm all for the UMC planting more churches. I think church planting may be the single greatest leverage the UM might have at "turning the tide" of decline.
If you are United Methodist, it's worth a read. There are a few Walls this movement to plant hundreds of churches in the US each year will engage


- WALL #1: The Rule that UM churches must be geographically spaced apart with significant distance between each of them. They each get their own territory.
---- the problem with this wall is that MOST UM churches aren't growing, reaching people or reaching new people at all. So by geographically separating themselves from each other, they are simply insuring that they are not reaching people within existing church territories.

- WALL #2: The Rule that UM churches must get land is born from the territorial issue above. If you have a territory, then you'd better get some land in that territory before it all disappears.
---- the problem with this wall is obvious. The unchurched people you are hoping to reach are generally not big givers and it's an assumption to believe that they even want a building at all.

- WALL #3: The Leadership Wall: The UM will likely plant churches with existing pastors within the UMC. If I could be so bold as to suggest that this will be a significant problem. There are some great leaders within the UMC who will make great church planters. But I'm not sure there are hundreds per year. At least not initially. Most of the church planter type folks left the UMC long ago because of the denominations assumptions about leadership and church planting from the past. Turning the Tide will mean the UMC needs to actively pursue church leaders at every level who are gifted at starting new churches. I've simply been to too many UM church plants that are as irrelevant as the um church down the street... Its just that they have a newer building.

Barriers

Barriers have come up a few times in conversation over the past few weeks.

Often what keeps us from changing or doing something in our lives/ministries better is because of a wall in the way.

Sometimes the walls are real. Some rule, some person, some program, some thing in the way that will not let change happen.

Sometimes the walls are in our mind. It's our imagination working against us. These walls are assumptions we carry about new realities or expectations we place upon ourselves that create a wall in mind keeping us from moving forward.

My wife won't call the doctor because she says she knows everything the doctor will say or have her do.

My son won't go outside when our 11 year old arthritic lab is outside because he's afraid of what the dog might do to him.

A pastor in a church with 2 adults under 70 won't invite his friends in town who go to different very large church to join him in a new adventure of missional living. He doesn't want to "steal sheep" even though he's friends with the other church's pastor and none of his friends will ever be in a seat of leadership in the other mega church.

A youth pastor search team won't do the work of preparing for a new youth pastor because they think the congregation won't want to change.

What are the walls in your life? Are they real? If not, make a change. If so, walk around them.
A pastor

Writing Two Books

I sent the signed contracts Sat back to Zondervan for the two books I'm writing for them. Both books are currently untitled but here is the lowdown.

A book for Senior Pastors and Youth Pastors.
My hope for this book is to help Senior Pastors understand Youth Pastors, youth ministry, and the unique role a Senior Pastor has related to the Youth Ministry of the church. The more I write for this book the more excited I get. Youth Pastors will dig this book too for reasons I'll describe later. But this has the potential to be a paradigm shifting book for the local church, especially related to helping church leaders clarify their expectations for youth pastors and themselves and give some clarity on what a relationship can be like between a Senior Pastor and a youth pastor.

A humorous guide to Youth Ministry.
This is something of a field manual for facing the unique challenges a Youth Ministry leader faces. A few of my working entry's are:
How to talk an 8th grade girl down from a sugar-high.
How to make a Scary Bible Costume for the Church "Harvest Festival" on Halloween.
How to Survive a Teen Prank
How to Return a Phone Call

I'm currently writing both books and will have them done before January. Then they will be release in January 2009. Seems like a long way off, but it's really not. There's a lot to do between now and then.

I will be inviting some folks to read drafts in the early Fall to get some feedback from both Senior Pastor and Youth Pastors so that this book will reach it's intended audience.