With Zach @ WCC

Today I'm in OKC working with the Youth Ministry Leadership Team of WCC. It's a pretty amazing group of folks in a very unique church. Peoples lives are being changed in OKC because of how God is and has been working within this group of people. I'm not a big numbers. I rarely quote them, but this is someone interesting. There are about 700 students involved in their outreach program called "the Mix". The Mix meets 5 weeks on and then 3-6 weeks off. Oh and there isn't a Youth Pastor, or dedicated youth staff person at all. On purpose.

Sure the church has it's weaknesses (every church does if you haven't noticed) but they are aggressively working on their short comings.
One day they will hire someone, but they will not have your typical job description huh.

Today I brought Zach with me. He's out of school and we came down a bit early and have had a good time. He's spending time exploring the church building and reading his latest book. It's good to have him along. We'll see how he handles me being in my 4 hour meeting tonight.

Echo the Story

My friend Michael Novelli's of Sonlife fame has been working on a project for a while. It's calld Echo and it seeks to rediscover the art of storytelling. Now he's decided to make it available for free.
Get it now before he changes his mind.

Here's the Link

No Blogging for a few day

I'll be spending time with family. I should be blogging again on wednesday.

Links

Are you a kid who doesn't want to clean their room? Thanks to Dave Barry

A Religion of Denial an Article by the Real Live Preacher

Stealing or Revealing the Identity of Jesus Chris has some good thoughts on how we might be guilty of Identity theft when it comes to Jesus

I've been tagged

Len Evans tagged me for a meme.

I'm supposed to share 6 strange/weird things about myself.

I suppose strange/weird is relative, but I'll give it a shot.

1. I used to rappel off my 2nd story chimney when I was in high school.
2. I'd rather travel across the country on a tour bus than a plane.
3. I think God speaks to me more clearly in the shower and while I mow the lawn.
4. I shop for clothes once or twice a year, but I give clothes away every chance I get.
5. I love to prune trees.
6. I enjoy making up lyrics to songs and singing them to my kids.

Harry Potter

I know I'm about 7 years behind, but I just read the first Harry Potter installment. I enjoyed it. I think I'll start number two later in the Summer.

Mike King in Africa

Mike King spent a couple weeks in Africa and has stories to tell!

He tackles topics like African society, genocide, post-colonialism, evacuation theology , a safari, a visit to equator. All with an incredible number if pictures.

Lifechurch.tv on Second Life

Man is this a cool idea. I'm not sure what the implications are for this, but what an amazing effort from the lifechurch.tv folks.


Link

Marko Gift Ideas

My friend Marko is having a birthday this week. I think he's approaching 60. I'm not sure... I only know that he is WAY older than me.

This Pink "hello Kitty" Guitar Strap to match his pink guitar.
One of these
This Book

A FREE IDEA:
Most people don't really know this, but Marko is a huge origami fan. He absolutely loves origami. You should send him some. Here's some ideas and designs you can make

Here's his address:
300 S. Pierce St.
El Cajon, CA 92020

If you are a youth pastor, Marko loves you. Love him back with Origami.
Wouldn't it be great if Marko received a few dozen of his favorite things for his birthday?

Or just make something, snap a photo and email it to him. Marko@youthspecialties.com
I'm sure he'd love to see others share in his love for origami.

Pace of the American Family

If you really want to hurt your kids over the long haul avoid the issue of pace and your family. Seriously. Better yet, deny that this is a reality.

I spent this past weekend with the great folks at St. Matthew's Episcopal Church just outside Washington D.C. I lead a parent's seminar on Saturday night and they invited me to their service in the park Sunday morning. The Seminar I led talked about a lot of things but plunged headlong into the pace of the American Life and the implecations on children and adolescents. Rob Merola the vicar sent me a link to this story Monday morning.

If you've read Chap Clark's "HURT" (which by the way is on the top of the must read books for parents with teens or elementary school kiddos) this news will not be especially new to you. However it is very interesting that people outside the church are seeing this phenomenon as well.

Here are a few highlights from the article.

"“We’ve scheduled and outsourced a lot of our relationships,” says the study’s director, Elinor Ochs, a linguistic anthropologist. “There isn’t much room for the flow of life, those little moments when things happen spontaneously."

"Darrah says the UCLA study reinforces larger questions about why American life has become so hectic.

“It’s not just a middle-class phenomenon,” he said. “Things that happen in society get played out in the family.”

The UCLA study isn’t ranking families from best to worst. Instead, scientists are asking how families are coping.

In a word, barely.

For Ochs, the most worrisome trend is how indifferently people treat each other, especially when they reunite at the day’s end.

With a mouse click, she summons footage from the project’s vast archive. Some of it is hard to watch.

* A man walks into the bedroom after work as his wife folds laundry. There is no kiss, or even a hello. Instead, they resume their breakfast argument virtually in mid-sentence about who left food on the counter to spoil. (He did.)
* An executive mother wears a silk suit and a pained smile as her daughter refuses to meet her gaze. Finally, the embarrassed nanny prompts the girl to speak while buttoning the girl’s pajamas.
* A big bear of a man squeezes into his cramped home office where his son is playing a deafening computer game with two pals. He rubs his son’s head, but the boy doesn’t blink. As the father shuffles out, the son gestures toward the computer and mutters, “I thought you were going to fix this.”

"With all the scheduling and management, family life begins to resemble running a small business. That means requisitioning materials and supplies, which invariably leads to a third hallmark of the study: clutter.

Archaeologist Jeanne E. Arnold planned to treat each house in the study like a dig site, cataloging and mapping family belongings as artifacts. But there was too much stuff. Instead, her staff took photographs. Thousands of them.

For Arnold, who is accustomed to examining bits of bone and pottery, modern households are overwhelming. How much stuff do people own? So much that only two families have room to park their cars in the garage."

Creating church for a world that no longer exists

So Christianity Today did a 3 part series on "How Teenagers Transformed the Church".

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

I must say that I had some hopes for the CT series on "How Teenagers Transformed the Church".

First, there were some things I liked. I'm glad they talked to Doug Pagitt and Tic Long. I felt like Part 3 should have been called an "Interview with Tic Long". Tic has some great things to say. His 3 points, Youth Pastors are often better communicators than Pastors, Teenagers as catalysts instead of reactors, and Indigenous ministry are very good points.

I must say though, that overall I was disappointed by the series. I honestly can't figure out what it is about the topic that frustrated me... but I'll try to unearth it in the following thoughts.

- Maybe it was because it felt reductionistic.

- Maybe it's because I'm not sure I like where the church is and has been and thus it feels a bit like a blame. Though that was not the intention.. the series I believe was intended to be complementary to youth ministry. But the fact that most youth pastors today don't like what youth ministry looks like and they don't like what the church their youth ministries exist within look like either is a problem that isn't addressed.

-Was it just plain wrong. Did Youth Ministry really transform the church over the past 30 years? I'm not so sure.

-Maybe it was the corrective nature of Tic's three points, moving us away from youth ministry as it has been to a new future. Or is that... moving us away from the way the church is today to a new future?

-Maybe the church is the way it is for some other reasons and Youth Ministry is more of a symptom.

Some of those reasons might be: (in no particular order)
1. Past WW2 affluence
2. Technology begins to advance at a ridiculous rate, doubling the number of historical technological breakthroughs every year.
3. A shift from a Modern to Postmodern world
4. Tremendous breakthroughs in transportation.
5. The creation of adolescence has a tremendous impact, not only on "teenagers" but on those around them.
6. The American Marketing Machine growing into something akin to a psychological guerilla warefare.
7. The creation of niches within the family by marketing, teen culture, tween culture, college culture, boomers etc.


Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who have served in youth ministry who have gone on to create great change in the church and there have certainly been people who attended youth group as a teen and now are looking for a church that is like their youth group... but I'm not sure that equals "Youth ministry changing the church".

Let me put it another way.

When Tic says the church is 10-15 years behind youth ministry, isn't he really saying, the church is 10-15 years behind what is actually happening the world today?

Church leaders are guilty of creating a church for a world that no longer exists except within the minds of a few church people. Youth Ministry can't survive like that.

Quote

I have spent hours going over the things I did wrong. I should have fired that one babysitter we had two afternoons a week – the one that favored her sister. I should have spent more time playing on the floor with her. I shouldn’t have focused on teaching my kids the Broadway musicals I loved so much when the rest of the third graders were focused on the Spice Girls. The list goes on. Why didn’t I force her to stay with swimming lessons? Maybe I should have chosen a different nursery school… I used to forgive her shyness and speak for her on occasions when she seemed too quiet to talk. Maybe I should have practiced more “tough love” and forced her to handle certain things on her own.
Or maybe not. The irony of her crisi of confidence is that it has become my own crisis. I was once a very confident parent, but I’ve now begun to question every decision I’ve ever made. Worse than that, I’ve begun to question my own daughter! I notice that I’m not only blaming myself, but I’m becoming her critic. What is she doing, I wonder, that would make people reject her? How has she behaved that has caused former friends to turn away? Maybe she’d too self-involved. Maybe she’d too desperate for friendship. Maybe she’s kind of boring. Maybe she – What am I doing, for goodness’ sake? She’s my daughter and I love her. No, she’s not perfect, and she never will be. Am I one of those thirteen-year-old girls myself?
-Pamela, middle school mom


From the book Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads by Rosalind Wiseman

Today is Lurker Appreicate Day

There is a lot of you out there reading this. Today I want to let you know how much I appreciate you visiting the blog and reading even though most of you don't come out of the shadows and say anything. Because so many of you are so quiet, I don't know who you are. This makes me sad. A couple times a week I loose my bearings a bit when someone starts what feels like midway into a conversation when they think of a post I have written. It's really cool and a bit weird. so even though I don't know who you are I appreciate you none the less.

Links

A Middle School boy is suspended for having a hair cut that is "too short".Link

A Mom Keeping her son safe. (thanks to Dave Barry)

A Church saves a Life by giving Mom's Chocolate on Mother's Day

On blogging

Some folks who blog are masters. I know of one guy who posts exactly 3 posts per day which he writes over the weekend. I think his blog is automated and posts them for him. He is a blogging machine.

Some people write a post, but do not publish it immediately. They tuck it way for further editing. These bloggers are meticulous about their blog and what they have to say is often very clear, concise and articulate.

I on the other hand have two different strategies for blogging.
First. My most dominate way of writing a post is this.

- I get a bare bones idea. This is generally a word of phrase that pops into my head.

- I write a title based on what I think the post is going to be about. Since I don't actually know what I'm going to say, my titles are generally not trustworthy.

- I write.

- I publish the post.

- I look at my blog and realize that a few of the words or phrases don't make sense.

- I either ignore that fact or I edit the confusing parts.

Second. I occasionally get too many ideas for posts. So I write a few posts and save them as drafts for the next day. This rarely happens because I might second guess a post and never publish it. or I am simply to impatient to wait til tomorrow.

I totally envy folks who know what they want to say before they start writing. I envy (in a purely healthy and biblical way) people who have time to organize their blog or are able to articulate themselves.

Me, I'm too afraid I'm going to forget to write about the next idea I just had. I feel like I forget way to many as it is.

A Post with Potential

This Post has potential. Read it. Give your thoughts.

youth LEADERs

Most churches talk a good game when it comes to LEADERSHIP. There is a lot of talk about hiring LEADERS. There is a lot of talk about training LEADERS. Often churches talk about hiring youth LEADERS. or rather they want to hire a youth pastor who is a LEADER.

But they don't really want a LEADER. They want a manager.
(they generally don't want a pastor either, but that's another post)

A few reason churches don't really want youth LEADERS:
1. youth LEADERS cause too many problems for the average church. They want to change things. There is no status quo for a leader except they consistently bring the future to the present.

2. youth LEADERS are disruptive.

3. youth LEADERS have ideas and dreams and they are motivating people to take action.

4. youth LEADERS don't just manage a department and put out the fires for which their job description detail. These youth LEADERS actually create problems and start fires, even fires outside their department.

5. youth LEADERS are dangerous and represent a threat to those who "lead" the church, or at least they are perceived that way by some "leaders".

6. Great youth LEADERS are extremely loyal and humble folks, however they tend to create problems by thinking of loyalty to God without understanding the ramifications for their supervisors.

7. youth LEADERS are relentless, dogmatic, and will settle for nothing less that the best case scenario. While some look at folks like Mother Teresa and see someone who is meek, mild, and a peacemaker, the youth LEADER sees as a role model for uncompromising, unremitting single minded vision.

Not everyone in vocational youth ministry is a LEADER. Most aren't. Some are just jerks in the name of LEADERship.

Churches value leadership until it costs them something.

I understand that there are good and bad things that come with hiring a LEADER. I know plenty of LEADERS who have messed up big time. I'm fully aware that here in the USA we have a very unhealthy, almost cultic obsession with LEADERS.

I'm just suggesting that churches stop talking about hiring leaders unless they are ready to accept what they are going to get.

Some thoughts on Loyalty

Loyal (adjective) giving firm and constance support and allegiance to a person or institution.

Loyalty- The quality of being loyal to someone or something.

Occasionally this word pops up behind closed doors between staff members of a church. Not every church. Not every person. Occasionally.

I consider myself to be a loyal person. There are some people who radiate loyalty. If you pause a moment, you can think of a few of these folks. Somehow their very presence exudes integrity and loyalty. These people bug me. It all seems too easy for them. After getting to know some of these folks over the years I've learn their secret. They work for it just like the rest of us. They might even be a bit more motivated to assure you that they are loyal folks. This post isn't about those people.

The rest of us are erratic. Some of us love ideas out side the norm. Some of us are ready to embrace life in unconventional ways. Some of us have crazy ideas. The short of it is this: Loyalty is assumed and we move on.

I've been behind closed doors and had my loyalty questioned. I was a youth pastor and the executive pastor was doing the talking. He was questioning my loyalty to the Senior Pastor. I feeling like this was coming from left field. It was an odd conversation on many levels.

At the time it really bugged me. I got really reflective. Am I saying anything that is disloyal? I don't even think about the Senior Pastor all that much. Maybe I should be thinking about him more often? I don't even know the guy.

Confusion set it. I was in my mid 20's and I remember thinking about how hard I work for God and the church. I remember feeling inadequate.

As best as I can tell looking back I did some things wrong. I didn't give consistent feedback which expressed how much I was for him as a Senior Pastor to accompany my ideas for what youth and family ministry should be in the church.

As a result my ideas in team meetings or even brain storming sessions were taken as lack of loyalty for their incongruence with the Senior Pastor's ideas.

I won't go into details here, but my response was to show him that I was loyal to him, that I was here to serve the church and him. I made it very clear thru this experience that I was loyal to him. I'm not sure I would do it again honestly.

It's interesting what this experience did for me. I've learned from this experience.

Here's my take home personally.

Pastors who talk about loyalty are talking about something else, but loyalty is the words they use to express their feelings.

Youth pastors looking for employment should avoid Pastors who advertise on Job Boards and use the words loyalty or "loyal to the Senior Pastor".

Loyalty is very important to me, but sometimes i send mixed messages by simply being myself.

Read my next post for my last take home.

A Sad and Dangerous Little Game

"There is a sad and dangerous little game we play when we get to be a certain age. It is a form of solitaire. We get out our class yearbook, look at the pictures of the classmates we knew best, and recall the days when we first knew them in school, all those years ago. We think about all the exciting, crazy, wonderfully characteristic things they used to be interested in and about the kind of dreams we had about what were going to do when we graduated and about the kind of dreams that maybe we had for some of them. Then we think about what those classmates actually did with their lives, what we are doing with them now ten or twenty years later. I make no claim that the game is always sad or that when it seems to be sad our judgment is always right, but once or twice when I have played it myself, sadness has been a large part of what I have felt. Because in my class, at the school I went to, as in any class at any school, there were students who had a real flair, a real talent, for something. Maybe it was for writing or acting or sports. Maybe it was an interest and joy in working with people toward some common goal, a sense of responsablity for people who in some way had less than they had or were less. Sometimes it was just their capacity for being so alive that made you more alive to be with them. Yet now, a good many years later, I have the feeling that more than just a few of them are spending their lives at work in which none of these gifts is being used, at work they seem to be working at with neither much pleasure nor any sense of accomplishment. This is the sadness of the game, and the danger of it is that maybe we find that in some measure we are among them or that we are too blind to see that we are."

- Fredrick Buechner from Secrets in the Dark

Jerry Falwell Died Today

Link

32 pounds of Youth Ministry Junk Mail

"This last month I saved up all the junk mail and ad mail I get at the church and weighed it. You probably won't believe me when I tell you that it all added up to about 32 pounds. 32 pounds of youth ministry related junk mail!

Amazing.

And then, it's also disturbing.

It's so disturbing because every single piece of mail in that 32 pound stack was selling their product with the claim that it could "fix" my ministry. Some claimed to "revolutionize" while others claimed their product was the one and only thing that could propel my ministry into the realm of uber success. Just imagine it...if I just bought this book, or if I just took my group to this camp, or if we just all wore these T-shirts, or if we just used this curriculum, then we'd skyrocket into a place where thousands of teenagers met Christ and completely and deeply devoted their lives to serving God, and they'd all become deeply committed followers of Jesus permanently! All because I bought their pile of hermetically sealed garbage!"


Dan's Blog

Not one Solution

If someone tells you they have a plan that will fix all of your problems or a single solution to involved parents in all churches... they don't. Pay attention to them.. learn something... then remember there is no universal solution no matter what color it is or how organized it is.

Solutions are always contextual.

The best solutions are discovered by critical thinking and understand your own unique situation. That's where there truly good news is.

Quoting Damien

"I’m reminded that a revolution is what’s needed.

I cannot bring it.

I cannot own it.

I cannot be it.

But I can feel it’s invitation so loudly that I get sick to my stomach… overwhelmed."

- Damien O'Farrell

Suppose...

Suppose you wanted to change the rules of youth ministry, how it's understood, what it accomplishes. How would you do it?

Advertising

I was thinking recently about a dozen or more conversations I've had in the last year about advertising for the Riddle Group. Most of the conversations were with clients who already use the services the Riddle Group provides. As the subject comes up, we talk about my personal thoughts about advertising. I don't want to advertise the Riddle Group. I love being a company that works almost exclusively by word of mouth. But here is what my friends (who happen to be clients) have to say.

"People need to be able to find you because they need what you are offering."

"Churches need to know that you exist."

"Advertising will let people know about the cool stuff you do."

This makes sense to me. I feel like we are offering something significant, but I'm seriously wondering about the cost of doing so especially for a very very small business. I'm also wondering about the medium.

Those of you who no me understand that I'm not a big fan of selling myself. But I'm wondering about more letting people know about the Riddle Group.

Any advertising guru's in the house? anyone who gets what I'm talking about?

O' Virginia

Soon I'll be in the DC area. Northern Virginia to be exact to be with the good people of St. Matthew's. I'll be leading a Parent's Night Out. I'll be talking about the new way of doing youth ministry the church has been working on for about 9 months. It's an exciting group of people leading the ministry there and it is always good to spend time with them.

On of the things I'll be talking about is "What every Youth Pastor wishes Parent's understood." I've put the finishing touches on my time with them this morning.

I'm curious..
If you are a youth worker or pastor, what do you wish parents understood?

Guitar Hero

On the Youth worker training retreat I led with WCC last week I was introduced to Guitar Hero. I had never played.

It was fun to play, especially for the songs I knew. I graduated to Intermediate after the first song or two. Way fun. Any other guitar hero's out there?

My favorite song was... Monkey Wrench.

Dan Hughes Thoughts

profit is this: finding, building or buying something that puts out more than one puts in.

commerce is this: sustainably scaling the production of profit through core growth, related offerings or new markets.

wealth is this: taking profit off the table and transforming it into sustainable vehicles that store, grow and enable the use of profit as power over time.

Link

Kansas City

Pam and I will be taking our first vacation in 3 years. Actually it's four. I brought her along with me to Atlanta 3 years ago for a National Youth Worker Convention which was a great time! But I was working a lot of it. Four years ago I took Pam to Vegas which was great. We stayed at the Luxor. Saw the "Blue Man Group" and "O" @ the Bellagio. We explored the various casinos. We slept in every morning... great fun.

Well this year we are driving up to Kansas City July 12 through the 16th. I just booked our hotel. We're staying at Country Club Plaza and I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with my wife. I know a few things that I want to do while I'm there, but I'm looking for other ideas. Anyone KC folks read this blog?? What are things we must do while we are there? A favorite coffee shop, BBQ pit, museum, eatery etc.

Pam's Weekend

This weekend is Mother's Day and Pam's birthday. Both on the 13th. For Pam this is the equivalent of having your birthday on Christmas so Pam gets an entire weekend as a result.

Last night I took Pam to the Bonefish Grill a place she's wanted to go for a long time Then we went to see a musical down at the Performing Arts Center. This was fun and something we haven't done in a long long time. It was good. Mamma Mia! is a musical built around 22 ABBA songs. What's not to love! I was singing "Dancing Queen" all the way home.... or actually trying to sing the "she's a dancing queen!" line (since it's the only line I know). It was a really great show.

Today I'm taking Pam to lunch and if all goes as planned she'll get some flowers today.
Tonight our family, (Pam's parents and my parents and bro's and sis's etc) are getting together for BBQ and presents.

Saturday morning is donut morning for Pam but first she will sleep as late as she wants to!!! Pam really likes donuts, but not donuts anywhere near our house. She has a favorite on the other side of town we'll be going to. Then it's a family play day for her Birthday!

Saturday night is the extended family get together celebrating mothers day.

Sunday is Mother's Day we'll go to church and then take her to lunch. Then we'll have a family fun day for Mother's Day!

Golden State and the Suns

I'm pulling for Golden State. Frankly, how can you any kind of sports fan at all and NOT root for Golden State. What a great story.

Sure some of you will get caught up in the character issues of a few of the players and their bad attitudes. That and one standing on the hood of a car and squeezing off a few rounds into the air from his 9mm.... outside a strip club. Sure the same guy has been ejected twice this post season. But they took 40 3 point shots and made 15 of them! They weren't supposed to get this far and while they are down two games to the Jazz (quick name one player that plays for the Jazz without looking.... exactly) the did bea the Mavericks.

this team is fun to watch.

I'm also pulling for the Suns.

EOL (Encyclopedia Of Life)

Today I got an mass email from Chris Anderson the Curator for TED. I'd thought I'd pass it on to you. The video's are great. The speech by E O Wilson is perhaps the greatest description of the complexity and beauty of creation.

EOL


Here's the content of the email I received.

Dear TEDizens, Those of us in Monterey this year watched in awe as E O Wilson unveiled his inspiring TED Prize wish to create an Encyclopedia of Life. Look here to see it. [Mark note: this is completely fascinating!]

In Washington DC this morning, the first big step in that dream came true. Five major scientific institutions, backed by a $50m funding commitment led by the MacArthur Foundation, announced the launch of a global effort to launch the Encyclopedia. Ed Wilson described today's announcement as a dream come true. As Ed hinted in his speech back in March, a broad-based effort to plan the launch was already underway at the time he made his TED Prize wish. But he called on us to assist the effort, I am proud to tell you that members of the TED community played a key role in realizing what happened today. In particular I'd like to salute the effort of Avenue A-Razorfish who in three short weeks were able to visualize a stunning design for the Encyclopedia and incorporate it in a video that is the centerpiece of the newly launched website. Please take two minutes (and it is literally two minutes) right now to watch this video. It does a spectacular job of explaining the purpose and vision behind the Encylopedia. It is here at www.eol.org

This work was done entirely pro bono, and is a wonderful example of the TED Prize at work. Everyone at the launch today was blown away by it. The video includes spectacular photography, some of it contributed by TEDster Frans Lanting. And the website address itself was contributed by an individual inspired by Ed's wish. Programmer Ray Ratelis owned eol.org, a valuable web address which he freely contributed to the project. Many more TEDsters are meeting next month to assist the project in brainstorming its architecture, technology and design. It's proving an exhilarating example of the power of collaboration. There are already many stories up online about the Encylopedia.

Huge kudos and thanks to Ed and to Avenue A-Razorfish and to everyone else embarking on this journey.

My best,

- Chris Anderson, TED Curator

Mixed Messages Part 3

I wonder.

What would it mean for many of us if we actually let parents be involved. Better yet. What if we organized our ministries around actually supporting parents in their ongoing spiritual nurture of their teens?

It would be messy. It would be difficult organizationally. But that isn't hard to overcome.

It would mean we'd need to loose our ego a bit and our need to be the expert.

What do you think?

Mixed Messages Part 2

In Part 1 of my three part series I discussed the mixed messages we get from schools. In this post I will discuss the mixed messages we give as churches working with kids.


I wonder if many churches actually rely on parents not being involved, no matter how much they encourage participation?

I wonder what we mean when we say we want parents to be involved?

Here's my guess:

1. Involvement means you show up to parents and information meetings.

2. Involvement means volunteer for security, cooking at youth events, organizing fundraisers. You know... the non-spiritual stuff.

3. Involvement means getting your kid to you on time and picking them up on time.

4. Involvement means paying for all the events, t-shirts, candy we sell, camps and missions trips we decide are good for your kids.


1. Involvement does not mean that you have input into what the church or youth program actually looks like and how our program is run. After all we are the experts.

2. Involvement does not mean helping shape the how we define success.

3. Involvement depends on keeping parents uninformed on information that might frustrate them or lead them to believe they are not responsible for their kids.

4. Involvement means the same things it means for our kids. Fall in line. Do it our way. You have no alternative. The youth leaders know best.


On one hand, come help us.. be responsible parents.
On the other hand, we are the experts and we know what your child needs better than you do.

Mixed Messages Part 1

This morning after dropping the kids off at school I was wondering.
I wonder if schools really want parents to be responsible for their children's education? Some schools are more vocal about this kind of thing, but I'm wondering if our public (and even private) education rests on a few unspoken assumptions. What comes out are mixed messages. Something akin to the guy who is waving you toward him with his left hand and waving you off with the right.

I wonder if schools rely on us not being involved, no matter how much they encourage participation?

I wonder what they mean when they say they want us to be involved?
Here's my guess:

1. Involvement means you pay $5 or %10 and join the PTO and show up to our PTO meetings.

2. Involvement means volunteer for organization class parties, school events, parking lot duty and the walking track. You know... the non-education stuff.

3. Involvement means make sure your kid does his/her homework.

4. Involvement means getting your kid there on time and picking them up on time.


1. Involvement does not mean that have input into what the school day actually looks like and how a classroom is run. After all they are the experts and know that it is developmentally appropriate for a 9 year old to have 10 minutes of recess a day and gym once every three days. etc.

2. Involvement does not mean helping shape the how we define success. Experts and our president have mandated that "No Child Left Behind" be the way of the land and as a result teachers are forced to teach to the test or they will loose their jobs.

3. Involvement depends on keeping parents uninformed on information that might frustrate them or lead them to believe they are not responsible for their kids.

4. Involvement means the same things it means for our kids. Fall in line. Do it our way. You have no alternative. The school leaders know best.


On one hand, come help us.. be responsible parents.
On the other hand, we are the experts and we know what your child needs better than you do.

Still with me??? Then wait for my next post...

Which Accent do you have?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland   "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
The South
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

(ht to Michael novelli)

Blogger Thinking Award

I missed this post by Marko in which he awards me with a Blogger Thinking Award.

That's very nice of Marko. It's also cool that Damien O'Farrell was awarded as well. Damien has done some consulting with The Riddle Group. I'm supposed to tag five others for the award now.

Here are my five:
Dan Hughes a friend in Dallas who I once saw present the history of the church in detail from memory on newsprint that covered an entire large room. Dan makes a living working in the tech security industry. He's something of an activist and is someone who I listen when he speaks. He doesn't use many words on his blog... but he doesn't need to.

Todd Littleton Senior Pastor and Riddle Group consultant. Todd has a doctorate and spends a lot of time with academic types rethinking higher education.

Michael Novelli A great thinker, with a not-so-thinker blog

Doug Jones I met Doug last fall in one of the NYWC cities. I recently discovered his blog and appreciate his writing.

Jim Hancock at first glance might be taken as a hip videographer but in getting to know Jim has been a treat over the years. Jim isn't a "big name" in the sense that many folks may not be able to tie his name to how they know it. Jim is one of the most creative folks I know and he is wise. Two qualities that you don't often find frankly. And his Ten Things you should never say to kids (a free book by the way) is one of the greatest youth ministry resources for Parents ever created.

Grapes

Jaden and Zach were running around with grapes today. They were threatening to squeeze them and pop juice all over the rest of us. Lots of laughter. Lots of running around the house. Then the remarkably quoteable Jaden said this...

"With grape power comes grape juice. With grape power comes grape responsibility."


No he hasn't seen Spiderman... but he's obviously heard the line somewhere. I love his creativity.

Jr high Youth Ministry Summit

Ok. So I wish I could go to this. But alas, I am not a Jr high pastor anymore.

Jr high Ministry Summit Link on Marko's Site

Contextless Links

Do you hear that crackling noise??

Ty made a mistake

Pray for Kansas

Skype

So I'm now officially a member of Skype. My friend Chris introduced me to it.

My skype name is riddlegroup

Find me and let's talk.

More Perfect

Seth Godin speaks to the reality that it is hard to reach people who are actually unreached. He's not just talking about the church. He's talking about businesses trying to reach new customers.

He says, "In fact, as the Food Network and cookbook publishers have demonstrated over and over again, you're way better off helping the perfect improve. You'll also sell a lot more management consulting to well run companies, high end stereos to people with good stereos and yes, church services to the already well behaved."Link

May 3rd Tornado

8 years ago a series of tornados ripped thru Oklahoma. I remember watching on TV when the tornado was 15 miles outside Oklahoma City moving NE. (Later the damage to OKC alone was 1 billion dollars) The view I had was from the air as a local news chopper was flying around the tornado that was about 1 mile wide. The news weather men were credited with saving countless lives (even though 45 died). The tornado that hit okc was an F5 with winds reaching 300+ miles an hour.

It pulled the grass from the earth in it's path.

My friend Paul was with his family (Paul is the pastor of WCC in the previous post) and the were in the closet as their house was shaking as the tornado was very close.
Incredible footage
Video link

My friend Jeff was on staff at a church that was destroyed later that day in Tulsa (110 miles away from okc) and his church discovered what church meant. As a result, Jeff's life was changed and he planted Agora.

The Morning, the Afternoon and the weekend

I spent the morning with a great group of folks in the Emergent Village Tulsa Cohort. Then we went to Joe Mommas for pizza and an energetic conversation on the need for theology to be rooted in space and time and that there is no truth other than God outside of time and space. And Pete Rollin's thoughts that right belief is not as important as believing in the right way. Good stuff. I'm not sure anyone agreed with me though. If they did they weren't speaking up! Fun non-the-less especialy with such good thinkers.

I wrote three chapters for one of my YS books (is this the first time I've mentioned this on my blog?) Working Chapter titles: How to dig a Mud Pit; How to Scare Kids into the Kingdom; and How to get a volunteer to stop sending you FWs.

I've spent the afternoon with last minute preparations for a youth worker retreat with Westmoore Community Church. It's always great to hang out with such "messed up" people. (their words, not mine) I've been begging for a WCC t-shirt that says, "the church of the messed up" on it... but to no avail so far. WCC is a fun to work with and I'm pretty sure it's the only church I work with that is a Blue Collar mega church. If my count is correct they average between 2,000 and 2,500 in attendance on Sunday morning and they have less than 10 staff people. (There isn't a paid youth staff person by the way)

So, I'm excited about my time with such amazing folks!

I'm off to spend time with the family before I leave for the weekend.
Talk to you soon.

Cell Phone Shopping

I'm doing a little cell phone shopping. I visited Cingular and Sprint.

Why is it that I feel dirty after leaving these places?

Update:

Another thought:

Why don't the smart phones seem that smart?

Missing the Beauty

So the washington post had Josh Bell, I violinist who makes $1,000 a minute and plays an strat worth $3,500,000.00 participate in an experiment.

He was playing the Library of Congress in DC and they put him (with cameras watching) at the street level entrance /exit to the subway. He played some of the most technically difficult songs to play.

Then they waited to see who would stop and listen. Who would recognize beauty and stop and who would keep walking.

He played for 43 minutes. Guess how many stopped? Guess how much money they put into his case? Read the story. Watch the video. Tell me your response. Then I'll tell you mine.

Link

An Odd Spiritual Discipline I Practice

I like to stay active. I move from one thing to the next. I recognize that part of me needs to stay busy. The part that wants to keep from dealing with certain aspects of reality that that cause me frustration or pain. So I often schedule them out of my life. So it is a constant battle for me to face reality, or at least pause long enough to have the opportunity to face reality... or at least to pause.

So I have an odd spiritual discipline that I practice.

I walk outside and I look up at the sky to see which way the clouds are moving.
I know it sounds strange or simple. But there is something very good and right about it for me. First, I have to stop walking. I have to divert my attention from whatever the next item on the agenda is. I pause. Sometimes it's easy to determine. I do live in Oklahoma where the "wind comes sweeping across the plain"... and in the spring you may need to hold on to something to keep your bearings... not so much from the wind, but from the speed of the clouds.

So I pause. I look up and see which way the clouds are moving. That's it.
Give it a shot if you want. Let me know how it works for you.