Adoption

I've lost count. Pam and I have so many friends who have adopted children, or are in the process of adopting kids into their families. Friends in Michigan, friends in Colorado, friends in Oklahoma. Kids originally from Michigan, Ethiopia, Guatemala, and Korea.

An example of this is Jay and Jen's site which tells the amazing story of their journey to parenthood.

I read somewhere (maybe Shane Claiborne?) who said, if you are really PRO-Life then you need to be about all that that means. And that's going to mean that somebody's going to be adopting some kiddos along the way, not just voting conservative republican.

I'm really proud to be on the journey with these friends, several of which Pam and I would consider family. Amazing stories and amazing people. People who are uniquely living into the restoration of all things and the establishing of the kingdom of God.

For the readers of the blog, who are yet to be friends, we are all proud of God's redemptive work in you and your great love for your kids.

For those of us who are not presently adopting kids, it is upon us to come along them and support these folks and walk with them as they raise all their kids in the way of Christ.

Let us be a people who live with an awareness of our responsiblity here.

Football Prank

(thanks to Justin)

Fantasy Football

Any one have a team they are proud of?

who do you have?
what are your chances?

You the Blog Community

So I was surprised again last night. Someone mentioned my blog and how much they appreciate what I write here. This is such a weird thing when it happens. I really dig it, but it's surreal. Humbling in a very good way.

For some reason, blog is tilted heavily toward me writing AT you the reader. Which is something of the nature of a blog, but I wish there was more interaction between us.

Everyday somewhere between 600-800 of you visit this site. That number can't be write, because only a couple of you comment per day. Granted, it's never the same people.

I added the click comments thing a few months ago.
I confess it's a bit dorky, but it was my attempt to connect with the crowd of you on some level.
I'll be cool if nothing changes. Maybe this is just the way it is. I'm just wondering.

Bill Mallonee is a musician you don't sing with. His music just isn't sing-a-long music. It's not hooky or catchy like that.
But when his song plays your mind is racing. He paints pictures, he says a few words, and then your mind is off thinking about what he's saying and your own context.

Maybe that's what this blog is. A blog you can think with, but don't comment on.

hmmm.

Writing a lot these days

Ok. So I'm spending a lot of time writing these days. My September traveling schedule is especially light. October it picks up again and November is plain busy. My books are due Jan 4. Which might as well be Dec. 15th.
So I'm trying to getting a complete first draft for both books written by the beginning of October, so I can start editting. I have no benchmark for this kind of thing and really have no idea how long this will take, so I'm using the time I have to write.

All that to say, blogging may take a small hit during this time. We'll see.
Thanks for your patience.

I will say that I'm a guy who likes an immediate response from work I do, so writing a book is very hard in that regard. I really have to work hard not to post stuff I'm writing here on the blog... even just to get a bit of feedback.

Oh well the time will come soon enough.

Prayer my friend Jimmy, his dad and his family

My good friend Jimmy got news last night about his dad. Please Pray.
Here's what Jimmy wrote today:

"Tonight my family received the news that my dad has been diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer. Sometime soon he will go in to see if it has spread to his bones and other parts of his body.

I don't know what to say about this. It's hard for me to feel hopeful right now. Many of you know that my mom died of breast cancer two years ago and it was a devastating experience. I was hoping that the news would be better this time around, but with the news I feel like I'm experiencing the worst kind of deja vu. Saying the same prayers, "God...please don't let the cancer have spread", and finding it hard to be in the presence of my children without crying-- knowing how much they love and are loved by their Papa. And their asking, "what's wrong?" with no words to tell them, especially since for them cancer means what happened to Nana. It was all the same routine before, and it didn't turn out good.

It's also crazy the thoughts that run through your head like, "Why him? Why not someone else? He's a good man and takes care of himself..."

This is one of those things that is too overwhelming to deal with right now. Amy asked me not long ago who my heroes were and without even a hesitation I answered, "My dad." The thoughts that moments like these bring...thoughts of the possibility of loss and suffering for someone you love...is a emotion that you feel physically; and it's all around, suffocating and paralyzing. You can't run from it or make it go away.

But in the midst of it I'm trying to have hope...even little pockets of it. That's why I'm writing this, I guess. I'm hoping for good news from the scans that will be taking place in the next few days. Generally speaking, prostate cancer has a high 5-year survival rate if it hasn't spread to other parts of the body (94%). So I'm asking you to please pray for my dad and for my family. Pray that it hasn't spread. Pray for a miracle that it just goes away. Pray for us to have strength."

Did I loan this to you?

Did I loan this book to you?
I really want to read it but I loaned it out.
If I let you borrow this book, please let me know.
If you have grown attached to it, I'm sorry it's mine and I really want to read it again.
hmmm

The Hidden Secrets to Dialogue and her strange cousins:. Part 4

The Grand-daddy named Generative

Remember Advocacy and Inquiry are the keys to dialogue.

Before I explain what a Generative Dialogue looks like, It's helpful to know that each of us have a natural way in which we engage in conversation. These are the ways in which we have learned to engage the world around us. Observing, Telling, and Asking are all natural means by which different personality types flow, but Generative dialogue is a skill.

1. Politicking: Every cousin has it's dysfunctional side. Politicking is the act of giving the impression of balancing advocacy and inquiry, while being close-minded.

2. Skillful discussion - Balancing advocacy and inquiry really well. (close to dialogue, but not quite) The Skillful discussion participant is genuinely curious about what others think and their reasoning, while also clearly articulating their personal reason explicit. What makes this person great is that they begin to unearth the other persons assumptions without being critical or accusing. This person asks questions and inquires to get at the foundational work done in the other persons mind, not simply for information, but for better understanding.

3. Drumroll please. Finally, it's Dialogue!

Dialogue suspends all assumptions creating a container in which collective thinking can emerge. A dialogue does not mean I give up on all my ideas, opinions and thoughts, but that I'm able to suspend those ideas and the assumptions that support them so that I can engage in collective thinking. Collective thinking is the ability for a group to have a growing conversations that moves all of it's participants forward. It is generative. It is free from agenda, other than the teams purposes. It's free of people simply observing, telling or asking.
It's the wonderful blend of advocacy and inquiry.

Fantasy Football w Zach

So part of the way I'm trying to build community with some guys and kids in my part of the world is Fantasy Football.

Zach and I are playing 5 of his friends and their dads.
Each of the kids get to manage their own team, which will be pretty fun.
I set Zach up with a team and now he sends me messages.
I realized that this was the first email he ever sent me, so I got a bit sentimental about it.

The Subject: you are going to lose

The email: prepare to cry in football.

Ouch! Don't mess with OU fans!

I can't resist posting about this.
OU fan (and church deacon) makes a comment about Texas fan in a pub in OKC.
Texas fan takes exception to the comment.
OU fan apologizes.
Texas fan is still upset.
OU fan defends himself by grabbing...

well read the article.

NOTE: Any article that contains the phrase, " a torn scrotal sack with partially exposed testicles." must be read carefully.

anyone offend by that phrase should go immediately to 1 Samuel 18:27... I know it's not exactly the same, but we're talking about a OU fan who is a deacon in his church. I'm guessing he's just trying to be Biblical.

Link

The Hidden Secrets to Dialogue and her strange cousins:. Part 3

The Cousin with Big Ears

Remember that true dialogue is a unique blend of high support and advocacy with a high level of inquiry.

We've talked about the ugly cousin who observes while remaining silent, withdrawn, bystanding and sensing. This is low support and low inquiry.

We talked about the tall cousin who tells everyone what they think via dictating, asserting or explaining. This is high support, but low inquiry.

The Cousin with big ears is an ASKER.
The ASKER has a high level of inquiry as you can imagine. But they aren't really all that supportive. Have you ever encountered the ASKER?

The ASKER takes three main forms.

1. Interogating - "Why can't you see that your point of view is wrong?" This person inquires about your thoughts, but not for support. The interogator asks questions to debunk your thoughts and ideas. These folks are often wise enough to know better than not to ask questions, but hidden, sometimes masterfully, under the surface is an agenda. This is dysfunctional inquiry and is the ugliest forms of the ASKER.

2. Clarifying- "What is the question we are trying to answer?" This is sometimes a very helpful kind of conversation that has lost it's course, but when it occurs within a dialogue it actually deters the team from moving forward in the purposes of the group. Notice that this is not a supportive question either.

3. Interviewing - Exploring others' points of views and the reasons behind them. This might sound like a pretty nice option to some of my readers. It's not often someone actually asks you enough questions to get more than a bullet point or condensed version of your idea out and on the table. When someone interviews you it feels wonderful, but in a pure interview there is no advocacy or support for your ideas. The Interviewer remains objective leaving your ideas just laying there on the table with no legs. Interviews without advocacy and support there is no dialogue.


Tomorrow... we talk about actual dialogue.

Is this helpful? With no comments on this series, I'm wondering if anyone is reading them...

Facebook to share Personal info

Ok. This really really really bugs me.

Do I buy the red cleats?

So it's soccer season. My oldest son Zach has outgrown his cleats and needs a new pair.
We shop around. He hates shopping. hates. shopping.
So we are shopping for cleats.
His uniform will be black shorts, black socks and a dark blue jersey.
He's busy being 9.
Telling me how he doesn't want to be there.
I'm wondering how a kid who can't walking into any store on the planet without asking to purchase something. "Dad can we buy this...." is a phrase burned into my mind like an old TV left on the same channel for a year straight.

Finally he wants to try on a pair.

The shining red pair.

Red.

They almost shimmer. almost.

A switch has flipped.
He really wants them.
This is just like him. He likes to express himself like this occassionally.
Normally, I hold him back.

But today I'm torn.

He genuinely wants the red pair of cleats.

My mind is racing. I'm thinking about what the other kids will say when they notice. Because they will notice, right? I know they will.

OH 9 years olds might not notice right away, but between running lap, learning a new play,
and catching a cricket a kid is going to be temporarily blinded by the sun reflecting off the red cleats and he'll say something.

It's playing out in my head in a split second.

Do I deny him the red cleats for this reason alone?
Do I point him toward a nice black pair?
Take a hit in the moment knowing that I'm rescuing him from the pain of being made fun of?
or
Do I let him get the red cleats? Do I let him express himself with a pair of red cleats, that actually look pretty cool, with the exception that they are soooo red.

Which would you do?

Update:
So here's what I did. I bought him the cleats... on the spot.
thanks for all the comments...
anyone disagree with my decision?

Thoughts on Idiocy

Thought #1

I'm not a big name caller, but occassionally I'll mumble something under my breath. It's not a good habit, but it's true. It's me. My go to derogatory comment for the past 4 years has been "freakin' idiot". Not very nice really, but considering the possibilities.. it's tame. I'm officially changing my "go to" comment. "Freakin' idiot" has served me well but "dunderhead" or "schlep"?
What's your go to comment

Thought #2
It's all relative.
To a moron and idiot is a genius.

Thought #3
Ok. a bit more honest and how God is dealing with me on idiocy.
I was driving today and was thinking a bit of information I'd been told earlier in the day. How one particular young speaker who is occassionally invited to a few conferences here and there and how much I think he has very little of what he has to say. (I told you this would be honest didn't I). I actually thought, why would anyone invite him to a that part that conference, they must be really hurting for speakers I thought.

Then it hit me.

I'm that guy at the conferences I speak at too. I'm the guy the real speakers think has nothing to say.

Then I had to confess how petty, arrogant and moronic I am.

zunePhone by Microsoft

Sunday School Class names

According to my analytics there have been a few people who are searching for "sunday school" names for their Sunday School class. I'm not sure why they are here, but I'm going to make some suggestions... I am here to serve.

Abs - olomn - A sunday school class for folks who like step aerobics.

I AMS - Dog lovers class

King "Saw"ls - people who love the movie Saw

Al-Anon - a class for recovering alcoholics.

Onon - a class for recovering porn addicts

BBF's 4 GZUS - For people who would rather text than talk

Oklahoma Meditation

Kamp Krusty does it again. I laughed out loud when I read this.

"Please: Take time today, quietly, and think.

Try to block out the hustle-bustle of modern life.

Be settled. Be silent. And consider this:

1) You are, once again, placed in an arena the size of an NBA court.

2) You have no weapons.

3) You are sprayed down with female deer scent.

4) It's mating season.

How many bucks could you fight off? How long would you survive?

A friend of mine -- a wise, older brother, spiritually, and a deer hunter -- after quiet consideration, turned to me, looked up, tear in eye, and said -- and I'll never, ever forget this: "Zero".

He also shared with me, "About 20 seconds."

I appreciated his vulnerability. But what say you, friend?"

Today and Writing

Today writing is hard. I've got plenty of subject to write on.
I've got the book outlined on notecards on my wall.
But I can't focus.
blah.

any tips for the writers out there.

The Hidden Secrets to Dialogue and her strange cousins:. Part 2

The Tall Cousin: Telling

In the staff meeting, someone comes up with an idea for the service next month. conversation starts... It's an opportunity for dialogue. Some will observe (see part 1), others will engage the conversation in their quest for dialogue by telling everyone what they think. In fact, Telling is a pretty common phenomenon within some church staffs. It's the time when the usual suspects tell everyone what they think they need to hear. You know you are a Teller, you often think of something to say while someone else is talking and you get frustrated because they keep talking and you are forced to remember your new idea.

Telling is the Tall cousin. It is highly supportive response to engaging, but ranks low when it comes to exploring the ideas of others.

Telling manifests itself in three ways:
1. Asserting - "Here's what I have to say, and here's why I say it!"

2. Explaining - " Here's how the world works and why I can see it so clearly."

3. Dictating - "Here's what I have to say, and nevermind why."

Asserting, Explaining and Dictating are all one way communcation.

Chances are you fall into this. And your staff team.

The secret here is that even though you might feel like you are in dialogue, you really aren't, because you are busy telling everyone what you think, or thinking of the next thing you want to say. A group of tellers often miscommunicate and rarely ever really understand what the other folks are saying. This leads to distrust, alienation and isolation.

If you are on staff with a Teller, there are ways to subvert this pattern, but it takes a lot of patience and discipline.

Part 4 will tell you how, so be patient, we'll get there soon enough.

Tomorrow: Part 3 - The cousin with big ears.

SY@TP - Dino Rants

My friend Dino has written a good "rant" on See You at the Pole from the perspective of a Youth Pastor who's been around the block a time or two. Link

"SYATP has also become a marketing spectacle. There are T-shirts, bracelets, badges, stickers, necklaces, book covers, follow up materials, promo packets for youth pastors, all packaged nicely for purchase. In addition, many local christian radios would announce and cover the event live from local schools, do interviews, and announce final head count of those in attendance. SYATP even has a place online one can go to enter your school numbers after the event takes place.

There are also pre-pole rallies and after pole rallies, where many churches spend lots of money to promote and celebrate their self righteous acts continue their attitude of prayer. They show video montages of each school, give number counts, give away T-shirts, have students share their exeprience, invite big name bands, and have speakers come and motivate students not to miss this incredible student prayer movement that is sweeping accross the country and globe. For a student led movement there sure seems like a lot of adults are pushing, promoting, financing, and marketing this thing."

By the way I don't think Dino is just being sour here. It's Good stuff to think about.

What makes Teens Happy?

According to a survey by the Associated Press and MTV the top answer:

Spending time with their family.

"When asked what one thing makes them most happy, 20 percent mentioned spending time with family -- more than anything else. About three-quarters -- 73 percent -- said their relationship with their parents makes them happy. After family, it was relationships with friends that people mentioned most."

Amazing. This is not what most adults think.

Link

(thanks to Marko)

The Hidden Secrets to Dialogue and her strange cousins:. Part 1

Youth Pastors, Emerging types, and leaders from various aspects of the world we live in are often in a quest for dialogue. Dialogue is actually such a rare thing with in church staffs, or business meetings, or "brainstorm" sessions that when it happens it's almost miraculous.

In this series I'll be taking us on the road to dialogue and the sad reality that we all fall into when it comes to working together. The launching point for these is based on the work of Diana McLain Smith.

The setting, unless otherwise stated is a staff meeting. (aw, the wonderful times in staff meetings!) Think about a problem that arises and the team is trying to solve it. (more on this later)

A couple quick prep statements:
Dialogue is about Exploration and Supportiveness.

Exploration is the ability to legitimately explore the ideas of others with an open mind and without judgment.

Supportiveness is the the ability to support the ideas of the person you are talking to.


Ok. Let's get started. But be careful, you'll see yourself in some of these.

The Sick cousin of Dialogue is Observing.
In case you didn't know, observation is not dialogue. It truly is it's sick cousin.

Observation is marked by low levels of exploration and supportiveness.

In a staff meeting this takes three forms:
1. Bystanding: The bystander might talk, but his/her comments pertain to the group process, but not the goal or content of the conversation.

The Bystander sees it as his responsibility to comment on how the conversation is going, how different people are engaging and how it could be better a "conversation." This is pretend dialogue, it often makes the rest of the staff feel like crap, and think that the bystander is an arrogant jerk.

The bystander isn't on the team, they are in the stands. No desire for exploration of the ideas people are contributing, nor are they supportive of what others are saying. They instead choose to talk about something else.

2. Sensing: The Sensor is the person in the staff meeting taking it all in. They see everything. But they don't contribute. They might feel supportive of someone in the group, but because they never express it, they really aren't. They definitely are not exploring the ideas of others.

Sensors won't share the risk of the conversation, so they short circuit dialogue. They kill teams. Sadly these are often nice people.

3. Withdrawing: The person who withdraws from the conversation is dysfunctional. In youth ministry, these are the people who are near the end of the time with a church. Their body may be in staff meeting, but their mind is somewhere else. They have checked-out. This is the ugliest of the sick cousin.

The is no secret: You can't really understand people simply by observing and you can't move forward together by bystanding, sensing or withdrawing.

In your quest for dialogue, you have to find ways within you to inquire about what other people really mean. The inquiring is as good for them as it is for you. You (we) also need to champion the ideas of others even if we think we will ultimately disagree.

Tomorrow we discuss the the tall cousin of dialogue in Part 2.

The Secrets to Dialogue and her strange cousins

I'm going to start a series later this morning on the hidden secrets of dialogue.
This will not be a how to series, but rather a description of the different ways we communicate (or lack there of) and how it effects our ministries.

If you are a youth pastor and you want to learn something super important about what people actually think in your church this is a series for you.

If you are a part of any organization or relationship where you work interdependently you will find something for you here.

I'm attempting to take some of the systems thinking stuff and make it a bit more practical for you the honored guest of the Riddle Group blog.

So we'll dive into the Secrets of dialogue and her strange cousins in a few hours.

Not Best... Better

Transformation doesn't come at once. For individuals, communities or organizations.
For the past 10 years I've heard a lot of folks all of them in churches larger than 3,000 people on any given Sunday, say something like, we want the a World Class Ministry, or we want to be the Best in Class.

These terms have always bugged me for a variety of reasons.
One of them is that churches who struggle to be the "Best" will never arrive. Never.

I think I get what they are saying though... at their heart they are saying they want to be better than they are now. That is the heart of innovation.

A Thought

The world is more malleable than you think.



Let that soak in a bit.

Neuralize...

From this site.

Excuse Me While I Single-Handedly Neutralize Al-Qaeda

Alan, in his book, points out that Al-Qaeda is almost impossible to stop. This is, in large part, due to the way the its message works, and the way the work gets carried out. And he's absolutely right.

So, in the service of national defense, I propose the following, in order to effectively neutralize the movement. Let's get Al-Qaeda to...

1) Complexify the message

Right now, it's so simple, it can pass from one to the next, and be easily grasped by the uneducated, the young -- everyone. This is dangerous, because it's highly contagious, and people on the street feel capable of enlisting others in the cause.

2) Construct a less "flat", more hierarchical structure

Currently, small, underground groups can move nimbly and autonomously, complicating efforts to thwart them. A more regimented, stratified approach, where some members are left thinking, "I can't know enough to do anything" would bring the movement to a halt.

3) Foster "expert" culture, and barriers to entry to the expert class

Promote the idea that the message is not only highly complex, but only some can truly understand it. Construct extensive barriers to entry to the presumed expert class. Promote idea that cells lacking a certified member of expert class, it is not equipped to be activated.

4) Focus on knowledge, rather than doing

Complexification and expert-class development will make cells spend immense amounts of time studying the work, even debating theories of the work, rather than doing it. Better yet...

5) Equate STUDYING the work with the work itself

The cells are called to ACT, of course. But if we can convince operatives that the work, itself, is in trying to understand the complexity of the work? They'll be effectively neutered. We need to get them to spend large amounts of time in study, gathering to study, believing they don't know enough, hiring new experts to teach them again and again, and attending teaching events.

They'll actually believe they're doing their work when they attend events held by experts. This will render the cell, and the whole movement, harmless! Convince them that the most radicalized, militant among them are merely called to bring other non-activated members to the cell events.

See the rest of the article here

(thanks to Jim)

Uh... yuck

Ok. you don't have to watch the whole video to get the idea. But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that there are too many people in this wave pool in Tokyo.

Funny flyer

(thanks to Bob C.)

Youth Ministry Interviews

So my friend Len Evans has started a great blog that is exclusively interviews with folks in the youth ministry world.

Mark Yaconelli was the first interview.
Wayne Rice was the second.
Then he decided to slum it with me as the third.

Here's the link for the site.
Check it out and tell me what you think?

National Youth Workers Convention

The fall I'll be attending the National Youth Workers Convention in San Diego, St. Louis, and Atlanta. I've invited to co-lead a seminar with Marko Oestriecher. I'm excited because Marko and I have never led a seminar together. However years ago, maybe 12 years, he and I did actually sing a song together at a Middle School camp by Michael Knott.

Our seminar is titled, "The Expectations that Killed the Youth Pastor". I'm excited about this topic because I think it begins to get to the root of a lot of our dysfunction in the world of youth ministry. It's a seminar for everyone who works within the church. There will be stuff for the new youth pastor and the youth ministry veteran who normally skips all the seminars.

Also I'm doing 6 or 8 one hour consulting sessions for youth workers on-site, which is a treat for me.

So, if you will be attending a NYWC let me know and maybe we can find a time for us to hang out in the city closest to you.

Left Behind in song

Over the past few years one of the things that has changed has been my eschatology.
I saw this post and I thought it was funny. We need more of this kind of thing.
It's from my friend Mike King.

He Writes:

This video features a song written by Randy Bonifield at Christ Community Church here in Kansas City. Christ Community is a significant partner with YouthFront. Many of our staff attend there and we have great relationships with their staff. Pastor Tom Nelson is working through a series on Eschatology. Randy, who obviously was scared to death (put me in that category) by the eschatological imagination and tactics used by many post 1970 Left Behind advocates (also put me in this category from 1978 - 1991), wrote a song expressing his experiences. Very funny and appropriate critique.

A Great Post from John Frye

"Imagine that the 5000 "men" and the 4000 "men" that Jesus fed with bread and fish each had a wife and, let's say, two children. That would mean that Jesus fed to complete satisfaction some 36,000 people. The disciples picked up a total of 19 basketfuls of leftovers (I know there are two different words for "baskets" in Mark 6 and Mark 8).

Soon after these two startling miracles the disciples fuss about not having any bread in the boat. In an exasperated, classic understatement Jesus asks the Twelve, "Why are you talking about having no bread?"

Jesus goes on, "Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear" (Mark 8:18)?

These questions are bracketed between two miracles: Jesus heals a deaf (and speech-impaired) man and Jesus heals a blind man (see Mark 7:31-35 and 8:22-26)."


Link

A Thought

We are all genius, every one. We just stink at putting our ideas into practice.

Insight from outside

I though this post from Don Johnson was excellent.

I've seen this kind of emerging snootiness before.
If you are a part of an emerging church and someone shows up in a suit, it's an opportunity to welcome them and show them grace. Otherwise you are living the exact opposite of what you've expereince when you show up at the church across the street in shorts.

Oh and by the way... if emerging church is about dressing cool then you are missing the point people.

A Thought

As I read several popular blogs, attend conventions or summits that there is often a similar theme.

If you find just the right technique your church will reach people.

So people blog about technology and say if you use technology just right then you will reach people. Others will say, if you use instruments, if you have great teaching, if you increase your leadership potential, if you do small groups just right... then you will reach people.

Technique.

But I think these folks are wrong.

Technique is only a result of why some churches reach people and other don't.

Some would spiritualize it and say it's only God that reaches people, but frankly that's bogus too. The Holy Spirit may woo people to him, but God uses people reach people. And yes, God works through people and sustains people, but it seems likely a cop-out theologically to say that only God reaches people.

Churches don't reach people because they don't want to.
and
Churches don't reach people because they have puny theology.

but it's not technique.

Technique will come if there is a will and theology to reach people.

Happy Birthday Dan

Go to Dan's blog and tell him happy birthday!

Buffalo vs. Lions vs. Crocs

Check this video out!

A New Journey begins for the Howvers

The is Chloe & Noelle Howver - their mom & dad are going on a plane early today, a long distance, to bring them to their new home.

This has been a long road for Jay & Jen - may they be protected in this exciting leg:

O God, whose glory fills the whole creation, and whose presence we
find wherever we go: Preserve those Jen, Jay, Chloe, Noelle
and all those who travel, surround them with your loving care;
protect them from every danger;
and bring them in safety to their journey's end;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

(thanks to Bob C. who wrote this post)

01-18-08

I can't wait for this movie to come out! Watch the trailer... this is going to be great!

01-18-08

One BIG Reason the Riddle Group exists

A new study reported by USAToday finds that a high percentage of young adults who attended church while in high school stop attending by age 23. The poll was conducted by LifeWay Research, an affiliate of the publishing arm of the Southern Baptist Convention. 70% of young adults drop out of Protestant churches, and 34% do not attend even sporadically after age 30. That means at least one in four young people who leave the church never return.

"This is sobering news that the church needs to change the way it does ministry," says Ed Stetzer who directed the study. "It seems the teen years are like a free trial on a product. By 18, when it's their choice whether to buy in to church life, many don't feel engaged and welcome," says the associate director Scott McConnell.

Part of the problem, says Stetzer, is the way many churches organize their student ministries. "Too many youth groups are holding tanks with pizza. There's no life transformation taking place," he says. "People are looking for a faith that can change them and to be a part of changing the world." It seems spiritual formation, not just spiritual entertainment, may be what young people are seeking from a church.

Interestingly, the survey also found that those who stayed or returned to the church tended to grow up in a home where both parents are committed to the church. This may indicate that parents play a more crucial role in the spiritual development of their children than any church program.

Among the 7 in 10 who dropped out of the church a diversity of reasons were discovered:

• Wanted a break from church: 27%

• Found church members judgmental or hypocritical: 26%

• Moved to college: 25%

• Tied up with work: 23%

• Moved too far away from home church: 22%

• Too busy: 22%

• Felt disconnected to people at church: 20%

• Disagreed with church's stance on political/social issues: 18%

• Spent more time with friends outside church: 17%

• Only went before to please others: 17%

And why do the 30% stay? It's these fascinating reasons:

• It’s vital to my relationship with God: 65%

• It helps guide my decision in everyday life: 58%

• It helps me become a better person: 50%

• I am following a family member’s example: 43%

• Church activities were a big part of my life: 35%

• It helps in getting through a difficult time: 30%

• I fear living without spiritual guidance: 24%

The full article may be read at the USAToday website.

The subtle difference between Me and Us and Him

A couple of things have been standing out to me recently as I talk with various church leaders and more recently read other blogs.

First. Everyone is talking about outreach, missions, and service. Some use the term Missional, other simply want their congregations to get beyond themselves.

I've heard a Senior Pastor of a large church in Colorado say, "God is the Author of the Story and he's the main character. You are not." Then he spent the rest of the sermon talking about how each of the individuals can grow in their relationship with God.

I've talked with a kingdom minded Associate Pastor or a different large church who desires people to get beyond themselves and our American Individualistic Faith. But when I talk about the studies the adults of the congregation are doing, they are are studies on "me and God".

I've heard Senior Pastors from across the country drone on and on about leadership, leadership styles, and management priorities which is the church leader equivalent of me and God.

If you want your people to get beyond themselves it's going to take more than you telling them to do so. It's going to take you doing it yourself. It's going to take you talking about something else. Something other than me.

At some point we have to talk about Us and how we follow Christ. But more importantly, we need to start talking about God, his plans for the world and what it means for Us to join him in what he is already doing.

More Bible Study is not the answer.
Telling people they are too self centered is not the answer.
Spending all your time educating people on how to be the church and how they as individuals can follow Christ is not the answer.
More baseball diamonds are not the answer. We don't need any more classes on me.

So if you want your church to get over themselves. Start living into Us and more importantly, in to his plans... not as individuals, but as the people of God.

It might surprise you.

Links to some Friends

Heather asks Where are the Women?

Maybe my friend Rob isn't as smart as I thought he was? This is funny. Link

Will Samson find the old Hank Hill visits a MegaChurch video.. I love this one.

Rick has a excellent list of the Deadly Sins of Kid Culture. Something every parent should read.

Just a Thought

I was reading a somewhat popular church marketing blog recently which talks often about what hours during the day are the best for advertising on the radio for churches. Advice for churches so they can stay "relevant".

My thought:

If you have to advertise for your congregation it's a good sign that you are irrelevant.

A Sad Kind of Missions

I know there are several folks who are missionaries or who provide service opportunities of the church to serve Christ, but serving others and this might now surprise them.

I heard a story this weekend while I was in Virginia. It's a third hand story, so please assign the appropriate amount of value to it.

A group of adults from a Virginian church went on a missions trip to a country in southern Africa. While they were there they decided they didn't want to work at least one of the days they were there. So they hired the locals for a few bucks each to do they work they went to do. Then the adults went on a safari.

It doesn't surprise me now that I think about it. Ever hear of such a thing?

Posts Brewing

I have a few posts brewing. more to come...

Jake Brown last night

Jake Brown at the X-Games last night falls 50 feet and should have died. But he walks away.